I am shocked and dismayed that such an exuberant fan of Star Trek could bungle a Kirk imitation like that, dude.

You can't overuse exclamation points, because that just gives it the impression of a staccato tempo, which it most certainly isn't. Shatner has much more nuance than that! And if you wish to imitate his delivery, you must excessively use all the methods available to you, including but not limited to: ellipses, capitalized words to indicate emphasis, words jammed together without spaces to indicate haste, etc. Also remember that while an ellipsis usually has three periods, when imitating Shatner sometimes you need to break up the ellipses or even add periods to them to demonstrate the exact pauses between words, instead of exclamation points. Also, sometimes you need to purposefully mispell words to demonstrate the use of more syllables than the spoken word usually requires. Here's a Shatner line:

But.. Sp-OCK..... SURELY youmustknow.... that your PEOPLE cannot. survive.... THRIVEeven.. withOUT............ LOVE! (and this last word requires that you really bounce that L off the roof of your mouth)

Or

What.... doesa GOD....need..witha....SPACESHIP?

Hopefully this will help you in the future.