February 29, 2004
Learning To Delegate
Okay, Sofia Coppola just won an Oscar and she's only a couple years older than me. I need to get to work and finish my book. But she absolutely deserves it. Her film was so well-written. It's another example of me sitting there in the dark theater, shaking my head, wishing I could write something half as good.
I think I'm going to try to be a delegate to the Democratic Convention in Boston this summer. You don't see many people with disabilities at the conventions and I think it's important that we have some visibility in the political realm. But more importantly, it would be a cool experience to be in Boston and blog from the convention. I'm not exactly sure exactly how the whole delegate selection process works, but I think it starts with our state caucus on Tuesday. I don't know if there's some sort of initiation process for potential delegates, like swallowing a goldfish or reciting the party platform from memory. Anybody know about these things?
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February 28, 2004
Backlog
I need to catch up on my reading. My parents bought me a gift subscription to the New Yorker and I'm at least two issues behind. I also have at least half a dozen novels on my bookshelf that are silently accusing me of neglect. I really do need a new bookshelf. The one I have dates back to my law school days and it has books piled on top of each other every which way. It could easily kill someone if it ever fell over. And I'm in the mood for a really bad movie, so I rented League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I read the comic, which was excellent. I'm confident I won't be able to say the same for the film.
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February 27, 2004
A Continental Kansas
This fascinating essay posits that the ascendancy of the American political right may actually harm our economy over the long term. The theory goes that an increasingly educated and talented pool of workers around the globe is choosing to work in countries besides the United States because, among other reasons, we are seen as an evermore intolerant and xenophobic nation. The essay also points out that even within the US, political polarization has created economic disparities. The so-called "blue" regions--those that tend to vote Democratic and are more urban in character--are propelling the American economy. Meanwhile, the more conservative "red" regions become even more conservative and economically stagnant as they lose their brain trusts to more progressive, vibrant areas of the country.
The argument is a bit pat for my tastes, but it's intriguing nonetheless. If Bush does win in November, will this shift become even more pronounced? I'm a child of the 80s and I don't remember such a clear schism in American political life as what we have right now. In twenty years, what will our place in the world be? And how will history remember these times? These are questions that every voter should be asking themselves this election year.
I splurged today and bought some clothes in preparation for my trip to Miami. Mostly pastels. Now I just need to load the Miami Vice soundtrack onto my iPod.
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February 26, 2004
Make 'Em Laugh
I've been thinking about the way disability is portrayed in the media. This may surprise you, but I think comedy series do the best job of portraying people with disabilities in an honest and sincere manner. South Park is a good example. Timmy and Jimmy, the show's two characters with disabilities, are two kids who are definitely not angelic innocents. They swear; they get in fights. In one episode, the two of them get into a knockdown, drag-out fight that left me in tears. It was so funny because it reminded me of the countless school yard fights that I had witnessed involving some of own friends with disabilities. It's funny because it's true. Curb Your Enthusiasm is another comedy that frequently features characters with disabilities. And like South Park, they're depicted as real people. Some are jerks, some are decent people. I think comedies do a better job with disability themes because they're such a self-reflective medium. Comedy works because it points out our flaws, our skewed perceptions of reality. And disability is one area of human experience that is subject to all kinds of skewed perceptions.
I received in the mail today my settlement check from the record industry. All thirteen dollars and eighty-six cents of it. Isn't the American legal system the shiznit? Time for another iTunes spree.
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February 25, 2004
New Arrival
Not much time to write tonight. But I want to take a moment to congratulate my friends Laura and Bob on the birth of their son, Jonathan Dylan. Mazel tov!
I finally booked a hotel for Miami. It's in the heart of South Beach, so I'm pleased. Now I need to pick up a travel guide and figure out which clubs I might have a chance of getting into.
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February 24, 2004
Same Song, Different Verse
Well, the culture wars are back on. Bush's support of a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage is the worst kind of cynical, manipulative election-year politics. It's a bone tossed at the religious right, who will drool and gnaw on the damn thing until election day, which is the idea, natch. Bush must know the odds of such an amendment's passage are highly unlikely, but that's not the point. The point is to mobilize the base.
Any law forbidding a fundamental right to an entire class of citizens is un-American and repugnant on its face. It was repugnant forty years ago when interracial marriage was prohibited in parts of the South. It was repugnant a century ago when eugenics laws mandated the sterilization of thousands of people with disabilities. This is no different. in some ways, this is worse because Bush and his ilk are attempting to sully a noble and grand document--the Constitution--with their own petty agendas.
Sigh. Do you ever get the feeling that there are two separate Americas, divided by a million invisible borders?
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February 23, 2004
Shades of Grey
The 19th Floor has gone grey for one day. Why? To recognize The Grey Album, its creator, and to protest the corporate stifling of artistic expression.
The 19th Floor: Stickin' it to the Man.
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Native Son
For once, Arnold Schwarzenegger and I agree on something. The Constitutional requirement that the President be a natural-born citizen is archaic and disqualifies thousands of people who would otherwise be excellent candidates. For example, should the simple fact that I was born in Germany preclude a potential run for the presidency? It's not that I have any political aspirations, but it would be nice to know that the option is available to me. I think I'd make a rather good President, though. I have the kind of rhetorical style that demands one's attention. I could be the nation's first blogging President. FDR already has the First-President-in-A-Wheelchair title all wrapped up.
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February 22, 2004
Writers and Towers
My sister sent me this picture from Paris the other day.
I suspect that she's not even going to school while she's there. She's bumming around the city, sitting at sidewalk cafes and smoking cigarettes.
And here's me and Neil Gaiman at the Fitzgerald last weekend.
The lighting is a bit off, but you get the idea.
Now that I've managed to sell one short story, I feel like I should be working on another one. But the book is going well and I don't want to distract myself from its completion. I have a few ideas kicking around inside my head that would be well suited to a short format. I'll tackle them if I need a break from my other project.
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February 21, 2004
Ralph Wasn't Hugged Enough As A Child
Some of my fellow Democrats are all in a tizzy about Ralph Nader's imminent decision about whether he'll run for the presidency. I think they're unwittingly playing into the man's thirst for attention. Let him run, if that's what he wants. Most left-leaning voters with any political sense will realize the stakes are simply too high to even consider Nader. And the ones who do won't be enough to matter. Nader won't have the benefit of any party structure to get him on the state ballots, which I believe will hinder him greatly. We need to get acknowledge and accept that the US is a two-party nation, for better or worse. Third parties may eventually win a place in state legislatures and Congress, but the presidency is simply not an attainable goal without the support of a major party machine. Nader is only a threat if the Democrats can't draw a bright line between themselves and the Republicans. And in 2004, that shouldn't be difficult. So whatever Ralph decides, it should be met with a collective yawn.
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February 20, 2004
Speed Rejection
My buddy Dennis is going to be in town again this weekend. A friend invited me to go hear him speak tomorrow, but I think one mauling is enough for me. I truly do admire the man's conviction of his beliefs, but his campaign has become little more than a thinly disguised ego trip. If he's really serious about promoting change, he should drop out and focus on getting out the vote, a la Dean.
I came across this BBC article about a female journalist with a disability who tries speed dating. I've considered trying it, but to be perfectly honest, I'd probably be incredibly self-conscious and just a bit terrified. I'd have no idea what I could say in three minutes to someone that would begin to describe me as a person. The way I speak, I'd only get a couple sentences out before the bell rang. And the cynical part of me imagines that it would probably take the other person at least one minute, maybe two, to get past my physical appearance and actually listen to what I was saying. I could try convincing myself that it might be an interesting social experiment, but I think my ego would get in the way.
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February 19, 2004
Upgrade Path
One of my former nurses and fellow geeks is returning for a couple months while one of my other nurses is on maternity leave. Of course, this means it's upgrade time for the Tower of Power that makes this blog possible. I'm thinking I need a new hard drive to replace my old 30 gb model. And I wouldn't mind getting an All-in-Wonder card as well. Neither of these upgrades is absolutely necessary, but that's never stopped me before.
I was looking through some of the poems I wrote in college and law school. Good god. I really should delete that drivel lest it ever be discovered by someone. And I remember at the time writing some of this stuff and thinking, "Hey, this is pretty good!" Yeesh.
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February 18, 2004
Howard's End
My story, "The Stars Shine Brightly," is now on-line. If you're so inclined, you can read it by clicking here. It's a bit long-wiinded, so consider yourself forewarned.
Well, we won't have Dr. Dean to kick around anymore. I think it's remarkable how quickly his campaign collapsed. Only a month ago, I was almost certain he would be the nominee. But I do think he helped the other candidates find their voices, especially Kerry. Dean can still play an important role in getting out the vote, especially among twenty-somethings and others who may feel disenfranchised from the political process. We'll probably see a lot more of him over the summer and into the fall. To be honest, I think Dean is better suited to being a grass-roots organizer than a presidential candidate.
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February 17, 2004
Caucasians And Republicans, Oh My!
Most of you have probably read about the College Republicans at Roger Williams and their $250 "white pride" scholarships. I don't have a problem debating the merits of affirmative action on college campuses, but this little stunt comes across as juvenile and noxious. Of course, they're free to do whatever they want. They're a private organization using private funds for the scholarship. You can probably guess my own views on affirmative action. To be honest, I don't know if my disability played a role in my admission to law school. I remember mentioning it in my personal statement. I suspect it might have been considered and I don't have a problem with that. Twenty or thirty years ago, I doubt most law schools, not to mention undergraduate institutions, would have even considered accepting students with disabilities, no matter what their qualifications. So I think it's entirely appropriate that admissions offices now give some thought to redressing past wrongs. And I certainly wouldn't expect to be admitted if I wasn't otherwise qualified. My grades and LSAT score were on par with the rest of my class. But I think it's critical that colleges and universities value its students for the perspectives and experiences they bring with them and sees them as more than a transcript and a test score. Those who oppose affirmative action try to mask their arguments behind innocuous concepts such as "fairness" and "hard work." As if those of us who might benefit from affirmative action didn't work just as hard for our education.
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February 16, 2004
Arbitrary & Capricious
This item ought to capture the interest of the deaf and hard-of-hearing community. The US Dept. of Education has abruptly decided that approximately 200 television programs are not appropriate for closed captioning and are therefore ineligible to receive federal funds for that purpose. The identified shows run the spectrum of genres and include Scooby Doo, Law & Order, Bewitched, sports events, and hundreds of others. Apparently, the panel who makes these decisions consists of five people and their identities are kept secret by the government. According to the Palm Beach Post, the only news source I could find reporting this story, these five individuals were never convened as a formal panel; they were contacted separately for their opinions.
I don't think I have to point out the appalling paternalism of this course of action. Or the callous attitude of exclusion implicit in this decision from a government that purportedly supports inclusion of people with disabilities in all aspects of life. What's even more disturbing is this story isn't being more widely reported as it raises fundamental issues of censorship and equal access. Hopefully, we can work to change that. Let's spread the word about this arrogant exercise of power and petition Congress to remedy the situation.
Thanks to Neil Gaiman for discussing this on his blog, which is where I first learned about it.
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February 15, 2004
Sunday At The Theater
I just returned from listening to Neil Gaiman read at the Fitzgerald. The actual reading and Q&A session only lasted an hour. I waited another two hours to get a book signed. I didn't even try to get in line; I simply let everyone go ahead and I waited in the little disabled seating section of the theater. There must have been two to three hundred people waiting to get something signed. One of the theater managers led me through a side entrance to the stage once the theater was nearly empty. This was a good thing because I tried going down the aisle from the audience section to the stage and nearly tumbled out of my chair. It was a tad steep. But I managed to get a picture of me and the author, which I'll post later.
And now I'm off to a small theater on the West Bank to see a puppet show. It's being put on some friends of one of my nurses. I have a feeling it will be very arty and very earnest. But what the hell. It beats sitting at home.
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February 14, 2004
Smoke Signals, Perhaps?
I'm trying to figure out how to handle blogging while I'm down in Miami. One of my nurses has a notebook computer and I might ask him if he's willing to bring it with. Or I could just stop in some cyber-cafe. Audio-blogging is another option, but composing an entry over the phone feels kind of weird to me. If nothing else, maybe I can sucker one of my readers into doing a guest-blogging stint. We could make an essay contest out of it. "What I Would Rant About on The 19th Floor." Hmmm...
I saw City of God with a friend last night. Excellent film. The camera work reminded me a lot of Tarrantino's style. It's incredibly brutal in its portrayal of the slums of Rio and the gangs of children and adults who inhabit them. I was also struck by how odd the Portuguese language is. Except for a few words here and there, it doesn't sound much like French or Spanish. I've heard it's a difficult language to learn. Anyone care to comment on that?
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February 13, 2004
Wanna Hear My Darth Vader Imitation?
So the Star Wars trilogy is going to be issued on DVD. The only bummer is that it will include only the Special Edition versions of the film. I suppose that's to be expected. For the most part, I didn't have problems with the changes they made in the new versions, except for a couple. Like that horrible scream that was added when Luke jumps from the railing in Cloud City. And what's up with Greedo shooting first in the cantina scene? It completely alters the tone of our introduction to Han Solo. Er, not that I'm Star Wars geek or anything. Nope, not me. Hell, I don't even know the home planet of Lando Calrissian's co-pilot in Return of the Jedi.
Really, I don't.
..
Okay, okay, he's from Sullust. Happy now?
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February 12, 2004
Get In The Car
I think I might rent a van while I'm down in Miami. There are actually places around the country where you can rent wheelchair accessible vans. I did this when I was in Denver and LA. In Denver, we actually ran out of gas up in the hilly outskirts of the city. We were stranded in some suburb for about an hour before we found someone to run to a gas station and get some gas for us. I think the best part of traveling is getting into these little misadventures. If everything went perfectly, how dull would that be? But like I was saying, I think it would be a blast to get into a car and drive down to the Keys on one of those long highways surrounded by water.
Okay, getting off the computer now. Beginning to feel the first signs of radiation sickness...
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February 11, 2004
Fly The Friendly Skies
I'm in the process of booking a flight to Miami and the airline is asking all kinds of questions about my ventilator. I guess that's to be expected, although it never received this much scrutiny in the past. Of course, the last time I flew was pre-September 11. That was the flight to LA from hell. I was going to LA for a few days with my brother and nurse. We got on the plane and were settling into our seats when the cabin starts to fill with smoke. We got off the plane and waited about ninety minutes for another plane. Once the next plane is ready, we board the next plane. But this one smelled like a chemical spill and we're instructed to get off this plane as well. Keep in mind that each time we have to get off the plane, my brother and my nurse have to carry me and my ventilator off the plane and my wheelchair has to be brought up from luggage. I'm starting to feel like a piece of baggage myself. Finally, we get on a third plane and take off for LA. We land and I wait for my chair to be brought up. Except it doesn't appear. After more waiting, we're told they can't find my chair. It might still be in Minneapolis. But after an hour or so, they find it in a luggage carousel and we're on our merry way.
Who says flying isn't fun?
A woman left a message on my voicemal looking for the person in the L&P article. She left an 800 number, so I'm not sure who she is with. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.
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February 10, 2004
Another 15 Minutes
Okay, if I had known BoingBoing was going to link me again, I would have been a lot more explicit about bugging you guys to help me get back into the dating scene. Because while you all may appreciate my quick wit and insightful commentary, others have yet to be convinced of my potential. But seriously, thanks again to Susannah and Xeni for being my volunteer PR agents for me and this site over the last several months. Today was a very long and exhausting day, but seeing that link brought a huge grin to my face. You guys wanna meet me in Miami so I can buy you dinner?
This cold weather is seriously cutting into my comics habit. I haven't been able to make to my local comic shop since December. Michael, the proprietor, probably is wondering if I've died or moved away.
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February 09, 2004
Viva La Difference!
Tomorrow I get to go to a mandatory day-long diversity training. Joy. I don't object to the concept of diversity training. I've been in enough situations to know that some people are absolutely clueless about how to interact with people of diverse backgrounds. But I don't think you can teach diversity in a classroom setting. It needs to be an integral part of the workplace; part of everyday life. And if you insist on teaching it as a class, at least teach it in the context of the experiences of the audience. I work with people of different ethnicities, religions, disabilities, and sexual preferences. So my starting point is a little different than another person's.
Looks like I'll be in Miami March 24-30. I honestly can't wait. I'll be curious to check out some of the clubs in South Beach. I don't often go clubbing because it's impossible for me to make myself heard above the music, but it could be fun just to sit at a table and observe everyone else. And you never know what will happen. A couple years ago, I took a couple of out-of-town friends to a club in the Warehouse District called the Gay 90's. It's a gay nightclub that has been completely co-opted by us heteros. My friends are dancing and I'm sitting off to the side, minding my own business, when this very petite, very attractive woman starts dancing in front of me. Dancing may not be the most appropriate word. More like gyrating against me. It was so loud on the dancefoor that I couldn't even ask for her name. I just bobbed my head to the music and smiled like an idiot. I so wanted to get her number, but I lost her in the crowd. Ah well, c'est la vie.
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February 08, 2004
They Like Me! They Really, Really Like Me!
Last summer, I submitted a story I wrote to a small webzine called Chaos Theory and promptly forgot about it. This morning, I got an e-mail from the publisher telling me they were going to publish my story in the next issue, which comes out in a couple weeks. I was floored. I had basically given up on that story ever seeing the light of day. I even get $10 out of the deal! Granted, it's not the New Yorker or even Reader's Digest, but hey, someone is paying me money for something I wrote. And it provides some objective proof that I don't completely suck.
I've started asking friends to set me up on a date. I used to shy away from such requests because I thought there wasn't a chance anyone would take me seriously. But I must be getting more confident (or more deluded) because now I think that a woman could do a lot worse than hang out with me for an hour or two. Maybe I should set up a separate website expressly for that purpose: hookmarkup.com or something like that.
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February 07, 2004
Bad Behavior
I was in a bookstore earlier tonight because I wanted to get a couple more copies of the L&P magazine. I couldn't find it and went to the information desk to ask for assistance in locating it. Now, I've read about some of customers-from-hell that employees in chain bookstores have to put up with, but the exchange I witnessed was truly appalling. This woman approaches the information desk and tells the clerk that she is looking for an anatomy coloring book for her daughter who is a nursing student. The clerk explains that there are many such books in the Medicine section downstairs. Then the woman, in a haughty tone, says "I don't want to go looking for it myself. You need to show me. That's your job, isn't it?" The poor clerk tells the woman she can't leave the information desk, but the woman insisted on being led to the exact shelf to find her precious book. Eventually, the clerk agreed to have another employee meet Ms. Bee-otch downstairs. When it was my turn, I told the clerk she didn't deserve that treatment. The clerk was a real cutie, too. I wanted to tell her that I liked her dreadlocks and that she looked like Ani DiFranco, but I didn't want to sound like a jerk. I was hoping to impress her by having her find the magazine and then casually point out my name on the cover. But no such luck. They were sold out.
Also saw Lost in Translation tonight. Bill Murray is brilliant in that film. Watching it, I also had the sense that the Japanese are more American than Americans. If that makes sense.
the
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February 06, 2004
Back To Square One
I've started to get e-mail from various people who have seen the article. Some are from people I don't know. Some are from friends I haven't seen since law school. It's kind of cool. Every day, my Inbox has a little surprise waiting for me.
Looks like the cruise thing isn't going to happen. I want to get away, but not for the kind of money they're asking for. Instead, it's probably going to be southern Florida for a week. Maybe I'll try to get down to the Keys while I'm there. I'll make like Hemingway and get drunk and then start a barroom brawl. Now that would make for an interesting blog entry.
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Details, Details
Sorry about the website being down last night. I, uh, forgot to renew registration for my domain name. Hard to believe it's already been a year since the19thfloor.net came into existence. Everything should be back to normal now. Carry on.
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February 05, 2004
Reading Material
I've posted the full text of the L&P article. You can access it by clicking here.
I'm planning on going to hear Neil Gaiman do a reading on February 15 at the Fitzgerald. I saw him once before at a bookstore signing back in 2001. Maybe I can get him to sign one of my issues of 1602. So if you see me there, stop and say hello.
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February 04, 2004
Quirky And Alone On The 19th Floor
I was listening to NPR a little while ago when I heard the term 'quirkyalone' for the first time. Writer Sasha Cagen defines someone who is a quirkyalone:
For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone. On a fine but by no means transcendent date we dream of going home to watch television. We would prefer to be alone with our own thoughts than with a less than perfect fit. We are almost constitutionally incapable of casual relationships.
Cagen seems to use the term to describe a certain subgroup of women, but I see a bit of me in that definition. I do derive a kind of melancholy satisfaction from being alone. I like the little rituals of my solitary life and the simplicity of not having to worry about anyone but myself. My last girlfriend accused me of being a selfish person, and in a way, she's probably right. I live in my head so much of the time and it's not easy for me to let anyone else in to my zone of privacy.
That isn't to say I don't keep exploring romantic possibilities. I obsessively check Match.com every day to see how many people have looked at my profile (668 and counting). But a deeper part of me knows that it will take a minor miracle for me to meet someone as weird as me.
Posted by wintermute2_0 at 07:09 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 03, 2004
Bienvenue
I know some of you are coming to this site via the article in Law & Politics, so I just wanted to welcome you and say thanks for stopping by. I must confess that this blog has gotten more attention than it has any right to expect. It started as a private little experiment that I thought might get the attention of a few friends and the occasional random visitor. I certainly never dreamed that I'd be getting 50-60 hits a day. But like I've said before, you keep reading and I'll keep writing.
I am suffering from a new syndrome known colloquially as Breast/Media Fatigue. Can we please stop talking about Janet and her chest? It was a lame attempt at titillation (pun intended) but for crying out loud, people! It was a breast, not a human sacrifice! When they start doing human sacrifices during the halftime show, then I'll be concerned. There are things infinitely more offensive on television than a bare breast. I'm offended every time CNN shows the President opening his cake-hole, but you don't see me writing letters to the FCC.
Please remind me why I live here again. We got a foot of snow dumped on us yesterday. That vacation seems like a better idea each day.
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February 02, 2004
Fear of Rejection
Teresa Nielsen Hayden has written a wonderful piece about why writers receive rejection slips and how writers react to them. She profiles a website where visitors enter the content of their rejection slips and how they felt after reading them. Most of the responses reveal fragile egos and distorted perceptions of one's own talent. There's a certain sense of entitlement in some of these reactions that is mystifying. You see the same thing on a show like American Idol. They're stunned when the judges bluntly tell them they can't carry a tune. The saying goes that everyone's a critic, but the same high standards we apply to other people seem to dissolve when we look at our own works of art. Maybe it has something to do with the Warhol-ization of American culture, especially the American publishing scene. All you have to do is go into any major bookstore to see that everyone and their accountant is publishing a book. So how hard can it be, right?
I've collected a few rejection slips over the past year. I keep them in an envelope in my desk. And I'll probably get more once I finish my book. I guess I see each rejection slip as a challenge to be a better writer. I like to think I'm slowly improving, but someone else will have to be the judge of that.
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February 01, 2004
And Now A Word From Our Sponsors
For the first 27 minutes or so of the Super Bowl, I was worried. I was worried that it would be another soporific (see, I got mad vocab skillz!) affair with a final score of something like 7-3. But the game picked up in the second half and Carolina almost pulled off an upset. I didn't really care who won, but it would have been nice to see a new team added to the list of champions. And am I the only one who thought most of the commercials sucked big time? A beer commercial based on a fart joke? Which marketing firm phoned that one in? The only one I found amusing was the Shards o' Glass Freeze Pops, a spoof on anti-smoking ads by the tobacco companies. It was funny and original.
Ugh. I ate too many Pringles. Pringles are one of my favorite junk foods because they have just the right texture for my limited chewing dexterity. I will now await compensation from the Pringles conglomerate for plugging their product on my website.
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