December 31, 2003
Auld Lang Syne
For me, 2003 will be the year when I stopped talking about being a writer and decided to finally write. With any luck, 2004 will see some payoff for all these hours I've spent typing lies about people who don't exist, to borrow a phrase from another writer. How was your year? What are your hopes for the next one? I don't party much on New Year's Eve. It's too cold and I find drunken crowds to be obnoxious. Instead, I tend to get a bit reflective, thinking about the experiences I've had, the people who have left my life and the people who have entered into it. For me, New Year's is not so much about new beginnings as it is about the transient nature of human existence.
But that doesn't mean I don't like a good party. Last-minute invitations are always welcome (hint, hint). If nothing else, send me a virtual kiss at midnight.
Drive safe, kids.
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December 30, 2003
Resignation Superman
Christopher Reeve annoys me. In fact, Christopher Reeve annoys a lot of people with disabilities. This essay critical of him made me laugh. It's crude but honest and to-the-point. A few years ago, a local nonprofit rehabilitation center paid Reeve an ungodly amount to come to Minneapolis to accept one of its annual awards given to people with disabilities. This move caused quite an uproar within the disability community here because many felt that Reeve spent too much time advocating for increased research funding (more specifically, a cure for spinal cord injuries) rather than advocating for the services and supports that people with disabilities need in their daily lives. It's safe to assume that Reeve's philanthropy probably extends no further than his own self-interest. That doesn't really bother me. What bothers me is that lots of people view him as a spokesman for all things disability-related. There are many people out there who are passionate and eloquent champions of disability rights, but Reeve gets all the attention because he's an actor. And not even a terribly good one at that. I do hope Reeve finds the cure he's looking for, but I also wish he'd be a little more honest about his motives and a little more open to dialog with the rest of the disability community.
Have you hidden your almanac yet? I committed mine to memory and then ate it. And someday, after every almanac has been burned, I'll recount the whole thing to a new generation of knowledge-hungry subversives. It will be just like Fahrenheit 451, except really, really boring.
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December 29, 2003
Missed Deadline
I was hoping to reach 100 pages in my book by the end of the year. I came close, but alas, not close enough. At this rate, I'm hoping to have it complete sometime in Summer 2004. Anyone know a good literary agent?
Back to work tomorrow. It's been a good vacation. Got some writing done. Got some reading done. Today I completed the second collected volume of Preacher, a wonderful comic by Garth Ennis. It's a thoughtful, surprising meditation on faith, God, and family mixed in with a generous helping of kinky sex and heaps and heaps of bloody gore. The attempts at "genuine" Texan dialog sometimes ring a little false, but you have to give Ennis (who is Irish) credit for trying.
I think it's safe to assume that Beagle 2 is a failure. Too bad. Perhaps the twin NASA probes will fare better.
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December 28, 2003
Any Given Sunday
I will never say anything derogatory about the Arizona Cardinals or their fans ever again. For my beloved Packers to make the playoffs, the Minnesota Vikings had to lose to the Cardinals. An unlikely scenario at best. But somehow, the Cardinals pulled it off in the last seconds of the game. In all my years of watching football, I don't remember a more unlikely finish. Right now, Vikings fans all across Minnesota are plotting elaborate revenge scenarios against the referees who ruled that the Cardinals receiver was forced out of bounds. The universe is a strange and quirky place.
I just watched Michael Jackson being interviewed on 60 Minutes. My favorite part: when he turned to his nurse/aide/whatever and whined in his best man-bitch tone "What time is it? I'm hurting." My nurse and I must have laughed our asses off for the next ten minutes. I think that's how I'll start speaking to my staff.
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December 27, 2003
Prognosticate
Okay, time for the First Ever Year-End 19th Floor Poll. I want to know your predictions for 2004. It can be about anything. Politics. Culture. Technology. Sports. Even this website. I'll start:
Politics: Howard Dean will be the Democratic presidential nominee. He will be summarily trounced by Bush, winning only the Northeast and the West Coast.
Technology: Wireless will continue to be the driving force behind new technology. Entire cities will be blanketed with free or low-cost wireless Internet access. Legal music downloads will be about one-third of all music downloaded.
Sports: The Kansas City Chiefs will win the Super Bowl. The Athens Summer Games will be a disappointment.
The 19th Floor: Average daily hits will rise to 100 by June.
Send your predictions to wintermute2_0@the19thfloor.net.
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December 26, 2003
A Little Snack
Man, I love cheese and crackers. More specifically, I love Ritz crackers with Merkt's cheese spread, the cheddar kind. Being from Wisconsin, I'm a bit of a cheese snob and I haven't found a spreadable cheese product that beats Merkt's for that salty-tangy bite. Anyway, I've eaten a lot of cheese and crackers in the past few days. Maybe I'm bulking up for winter, like a bear preparing for hibernation. My cholesterol has probably jumped ten points in the last week alone. Between that and mint-flavored Christmas M&M's I've been munching on, I'm gonna be one fat-ass cripple by year's end. Think Gimli-the-dwarf fat. Only in a wheelchair. And without a beard.
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December 25, 2003
Lost Dog
My parents and sister are visiting and this morning we opened presents. Here's a picture of the l00t:
I got the new Stephen King novel, the second season DVD set of Buffy, and the new Shins CD. My big gift, a pair of high-end Shure earphones for my iPod, hasn't arrived yet. And everyone seemed to enjoy the gifts I got for them. My nurses managed to surprise me by getting me a lovely teak table for the television in my bedroom. Thanks, guys!
Return of the King was crazy good. By the end, I was physically exhausted. With only a couple exceptions (what, no Mouth of Sauron?), it was remarkably faithful to the book. Some people have complained about the length of the ending, but with a story so epic in scale it's difficult to wrap everything up in a single denouement. I'll probably see it again next week and that will be enough until the extended DVD is released.
And here's hoping that the Beagle 2 decides to give its makers a Merry Christmas by sending a signal home.
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December 24, 2003
From Me To You
I finally get to see ROTK tonight. In approximately five hours, I'll be sitting in a darkened theater, the ventilator struggling to keep up with my quickened breath. But what will I have to look forward to next holiday season? Or, for that matter, next month? Life will seem so empty after tonight!
You gotta feel for the farmer who owns one extremely unlucky cow. His/her business is probably finished. And I'd go easy on the roast beef this holiday season.
Wherever you are, I hope you're enjoying your preferred holiday and that you're doing it in the company of others. And if you are alone, I hope it's only temporary. From all of us at The 19th Floor (well, me, basically), Happy Holidays!
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December 23, 2003
Apple Of My Eye
I was just reading this article on people reminiscing about their first computers. My first computer was a Texas Instruments 99-4A, complete with cassette tape drive that made these god-awful screeching sounds whenever you transferred data to or from it. It was hooked up to an old color television and I probably had it from 1981-82. That was followed by the Apple IIe with the green monochrome monitor and dual floppy drive. It was really bitchin' because it had the graphics adapter that could display 80 columns of text. I wasted hours on that thing playing Infocom games (Planetfall rules!) and Donkey Kong. Then came the promising but ill-fated Apple IIGS, circa 1987. That was followed by a Macintosh Plus (the first computer I operated with a HeadMaster) and then I entered the world of PCs. I remember my dad bringing home this XT from work that had a whopping 10 mb hard drive. When that one started to smoke, we replaced it with a 386. Then a 486. And so on... Looking at my current system, it's light-years ahead of those clunky boxes, but I still have fond memories of sitting in the basement, in that muted green glow of the monitor, exploring a maze of twisty passages, all alike.
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December 22, 2003
Proof Positive
As further proof that law school permanently warps your worldview, read this.
As further proof that the state of Texas is hopelessly trapped in the 19th century, read this.
I tried a newer, more compact ventilator today. Unfortunately, it made me feel like I was hyperventilating, so I shan't be using it again. Finding the right ventilator is a bit like a wine tasting. What may elicit rave reviews from one person may also elicit bitter distaste in another. I've been using the same model of ventilator ever since I was trached. It's a little bulky and kinda quaint with its analog dials, but it's accompanied me on several plane trips, walks to school in raging storms, and excursions to numerous smoky bars without skipping a breath. My dream vent would be the size of an iPod and would be something I could simply stick over my tracheotomy, but for now, I'll stick with what works.
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December 21, 2003
Kind of Orange
A plane full of anthrax might crash into a nuclear reactor near a major American metropolis, but for God's sake, keep shopping! Don't let the terrorists win. But seriously, I understand the need to keep the American public informed, but do people act any differently under Condition Orange as opposed to Condition Yellow? Do the screeners at the airport suddenly become more vigilant? States of alert make sense within a military context, but I'm not sure they serve civilian populations that well. So how do we keep people informed without creating an atmosphere of anxiety and fear? Perhaps more to the point, does information such as this enhance our level of preparedness?
I keep reading about bloggers who get book deals. I don't do this for the glory, but I certainly wouldn't mind getting a writing gig if someone offered me one. When I was younger, I thought about growing up to be a professional writer. And as with most childhood dreams, this one eventually was tempered by an adult's sense of cautious realism. It's rewarding enough that twenty or thirty of you make the time to read me each day. That's more of an audience than 90% of the human race has. So I'll keep writing these daily missives and maybe karma will be on my side.
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December 20, 2003
More CGI With British Accents
Next on the Hollywood Fantasy Wagontrain, C.S. Lewis and his Chronicles of Narnia. I tore through these books when I was a kid. Most of the Christian allegory stuff went right over my little pagan head, but I became more cognizant of the whole Aslan-Jesus thing as I got older. The image of his mane being shaved by the Witch's evil minions still lurks in my imagination, a good indicator of how effective Lewis was as a writer. I doubt those books carry the same cachet as Harry Potter or LOTR, at least here in the States, which might make them a tougher sell. But has Hollywood totally abandoned science fiction? I can't remember the last really good straight up SF film I've seen. Granted, science fiction doesn't resonate with the same moral clarify as fantasy, but there are some great books out there that I think could capture the popular imagination if put in the hands of the right director.
For today's show-and-tell, we have a view of the Crystal Court in the IDS Building, downtown Minneapolis:
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December 19, 2003
Delusions of Grandeur
So you're the tyrannical leader of a Mideast nation. A vastly superior foreign military is preparing to invade and force you from power. What do you do? Why, write a novel, of course! Is there some kind of rule requiring bloodthirsty dictators to have a somewhat tenuous grip on reality? How do people like this rise to power and then stay there for decades? I'm not trying to sound naive, but couldn't some muckety-mucks in the Iraqi Army have gotten together and said, "Okay, the old man has clearly lost it. Time to retire him." Are people in general really such sheep? Under the right circumstances, would Americans allow themselves to be ruled by a psychotic?
My apologies to those who came to this site earlier only to see an error message. My hosting company made another billing error that had to be rectified. Everything should be back to normal now.
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December 18, 2003
Head In The Clouds
My favorite cowgirl-in-seclusion, the talented Susannah, sends us this lovely image:
Who's next?
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December 17, 2003
All Good Things...
I was this close to skipping out of work today to see Return of the King, but my better angels prevailed. I'll most likely wait until next week and see it when my family is in town, as that has been the tradition for the last two films. Just...seven...more...days. I can do this. I have tremendous willpower when it comes to delaying gratification.
I firmly believe in evolution. Why? Because if human beings had any sort of sacred spark within them, it wouldn't be necessary to run an ad campaign reminding people that it's NOT OKAY to fling your urine and feces out the car window while cruising down the interstate. It's been, what, nearly a century since indoor plumbing became a staple of modern civilization?
The closing of a year brings with it the predictable "Best of 2003" lists. I usually like to check out the book lists and I have to confess that I haven't read many of them this year. I'm usually a year or two behind. But I am currently reading The Fortress of Solitude and it could very well be the best thing I've read this year. Anyone have their own favorites in books or music. And do not say "The Da Vinci Code" or I'll ban your ass.
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December 16, 2003
IOU
I am so not letting certain siblings of mine use my check card anymore. I was wondering why my account balance seemed lower than it should. Now I know why. It's not a huge amount, but enough for me to politely and in a big-brother sort of way ask, "WTF?!" If I'm going to be donating to charity, I'd at least like to know about it in advance.
I'm pretty certain none of my nurses are capable of this. Yeah, pretty sure. But maybe I should start thinking about a Christmas bonus or something.
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December 15, 2003
Curses, Foiled Again!
Crap. I just wrote a post and the computer ate it. Oh well. It was funny and insightful and eloquent and now it's gone. Oh, the humanity!
Anyway.
I get to visit the doctor tomorrow afternoon. I don't have as many doctor appointments as you might expect. For someone with my severity of disability, I'm remarkably stable. So the purpose of this visit is simply to let my physician know that I'm still in the neighborhood. I only wish there was an easy way to get some writing done while sitting in the waiting room. I want a pair of glasses like that guy in the IBM commercial. You know, the one where he's sitting on a bench in Rome or Milan or wherever and trading stocks using a display on his eyeglasses, screaming "Buy it! Buy it!" like he just snorted a noseful of crystal meth.
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December 14, 2003
My Island Home
Ronnie sends us this great view of the beach near his home on Vancouver Island, looking towards the Canadian mainland:
Keep 'em coming.
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The Big Cheese
Man, Saddam needs a shave and a haircut! I don't think many people are unhappy to learn of his capture, but I fail to understand why we can track him down in a matter of months and war criminals like Radovan Karadzic and Ratko Mladic are still free years after being indicted. Of course, it remains to be seen whether his capture will diminish the number of daily attacks by Iraqi insurgents.
The play last night was wonderful. Much more alive and and full of humor than the last time i saw it. If you're ever visiting the Twin Cities during the holiday season, you really should make a point to see it.
I'm nearly finished with my holiday shopping. I just need to get something for my brother in Germany. I hope Amazon doesn't charge an arm and a leg for overseas shipping.
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December 13, 2003
"Mankind Was My Business!"
PZ sends in this view from his office window:
And Strange Loops submits this vaguely disturbing image of his demonic cat.
I've got tickets for the Guthrie tonight to see their annual production of A Christmas Carol. Nothing like a little Dickens this time of year to inspire a little hope in one's fellow human beings, if only for a little while. I can do without the Tiny Tim thread of the story, but I'll let it pass. I've always liked the George C. Scott version that was done for television and even the Bill Murray interpretation isn't bad.
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December 12, 2003
The Problem With Ralph
Can't the Greens do any better than drag out Ralph Nader from the nursing home every four years? Do Greens still suffer from the delusion that Ralph gives a whit about promoting the party? I said this in 2000 and I'll say it now: Nader is a self-aggrandizing egomaniac pain in the ass. Personally, I hope he does run so that he can discover just how tired people are of him.
The Guardian has a great article about how nerd culture has conquered mainstream pop culture. Yes, everything is going according to plan, just as we predicted. I've already been promised a high-level ministerial position in the North American Sector after the revolution. And then I'll finally exact my revenge on that bullying cretin who sat next to me in Miss Meverden's fifth grade class.
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December 11, 2003
The Giving Season
Everyone is suddenly jumping on the VoIP bandwagon this week. Time Warner is my cable provider and it looks like I'll be able to have access to this service early next year. Maybe that means I'll finally be able to make a telephone call without having to bug someone else to punch the buttons for me. I'd pay $50 just for that. And it would be really cool if I could check my voicemail on-line.
If any of you are looking for some last-minute charitable deductions, consider VSA Arts of Minnesota. I serve on their Board of Directors and they are a wonderful organization. Their primary mission is to bring the arts and access to the arts to people with disabilities. In my opinion, they're one of the best-kept secrets in the Minnesota art scene. Even a small gift of $10 or $15 would be appreciated. You can tell them you heard about VSA right here on this blog.
I think tomorrow I'll freak out my neighbors and go a-caroling on every damn floor of the building. I'll even take requests.
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December 10, 2003
Minor Delays
Okay, I know I said I'd post some pictures of the snow. Two problems:
1. It gets dark so frickin' early.
2. I need to figure out a way for my nurse to take a picture outside without my nurse's finger sticking to the button in these frigid temperatures.
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December 09, 2003
Let It Snow...For Now
We got hit with a surprise snowstorm today. About five inches in Minneapolis. It's still snowing, which makes for quite a spectacle from up here on the 19th floor.
I should start putting together my holiday wish list. I really like this ambient information device. I could go for this too. Any suggestions from fellow gadget freaks?
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December 08, 2003
The Fat Lady Has Left The Building
At the risk of being premature, I think it's safe to say that Dean will be the Democratic nominee in 2004. No, endorsements are not decisive, but Gore remains tremendously popular with the party's base and it will be difficult for any of the other candidates to recapture the limelight after this. Dean is by no means a perfect candidate but he's at least as electable as BC. Once the primaries are sealed up, he needs to focus on transforming himself from the Angry Democrat to a candidate with comprehensive policy proposals that clearly set him apart from Bush.
Okay, i've had one response to my "Show Me" request. Is everyone shy? C'mon, work with me! Don't you get tired of my rants? Send me pictures or I start posting my old school photos. And you don't want that, do you?
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December 07, 2003
Pursuing The Under-Six Vote
After spending about 20 minutes trying to remember the combination on my storage locker, I finally got it open and dragged out my tangled collection of holiday lights. This is my one concession to the season. No wreath, no tree, no menorah, but I'll string up a few lights. I had five strings and guess how many were functional. Yup, one. Planned obsolescence is a bitch.
The Kucinich campaign seems to exist for the sole reason of giving me priceless material for the blog. I mean, how else can you explain this? I'm waiting to see whether Kucinich will also get the endorsement of Clifford the Big Red Dog and Harriet the Spy.
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December 06, 2003
Show Me
Borrowing shamelessly from a stunt Warren Ellis pulled, I'd like those of you with digital cameras/phone cams to take a picture of your surroundings. It can be whatever is out your window or it can be your living room. It can even be a picture of you. Show me something cool. Show me something beautiful. You can e-mail them to me at wintermute2_0@the19thfloor.net. You have until 4:30 CST on Monday, December 8th. All submissions will be posted as I receive them. Come on, don't be shy. Share your world with me.
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December 05, 2003
Blood On The Dance Floor
By the way, somebody invite me to a rave so that I can meet this Satan guy I keep hearing about.
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Glam Shot
I had to get all dressed up for my photo shoot this morning. That's right, yours truly was striking all kinds of poses and looking very debonair in the process. Why? Ah, but that would ruin the surprise. Perhaps I can say more in a few weeks.
Bush wants to go to the Moon. Now this may be a proposal I can support. NASA has been screwing around in low-Earth orbit for far too long. But it's too bad it has to be in the context of another space race--this time with the Chinese. I guess the only time we Americans ever get motivated enough to get off our fat asses and accomplish something is when the commies threaten to beat us to the punch.
Sorry about the down time earlier today. My host was moving the servers to a new facility. Everything should be cool now.
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December 04, 2003
Uncut
Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I watched the Extended Version of The Two Towers. As with the first extended DVD, the second film, already ridiculously good, is even better with the additional footage. I especially enjoyed the scenes that developed the relationship between Faramir and his doomed brother Boromir. It adds resonance to Faramir's character and nicely sets the stage for his role in the final chapter of the trilogy. I haven't had a chance to sit through all the extras yet, but I did like the documentary showing how they found so many geographically varied locations in tiny New Zealand. I had no idea it was such a beautiful country. Makes me want to visit someday.
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December 03, 2003
Semantics
Like many minority groups, people with disabilities have developed a dialog that is readily understood by our own community but may be misunderstood by society at large. For example, a person without a disability is a TAB (temporarily able-bodied), a term which implicitly recognizes the fragile divide of circumstance and/or age that separates disability from so-called normalcy. Some of our terms are co-opted from those that society once freely used to describe us. "Cripple" is a good example. I use "cripple" frequently when talking about myself, i.e. "kiss my crippled ass" or "where's the cripple parking?" or "Not this cripple!" I may use it around other people with disabilities who I know are down with that term. "Yo, cripple, 'sup?" I never use it in polite conversation, particularly with TABs. If a TAB used that word with me, I'd most likely throttle them. I once had a nurse ask me during her orientation, "What's it like being a cripple?" Needless to say, she didn't last long. I know colleagues who will toss the term casually like a Frisbee around TABs in an effort to shock or provoke. I don't entirely agree with that approach; I think it just confuses the poor things and it distracts them from whatever the rest of our message is. I suspect that I regard the word "cripple" and the rules for its usage in much the same way that many African-Americans regard the N-word. In fact, I see the potential for a true meshing of our cultures. I think "cripple" could be used quite effectively in rap lyrics. Maybe that's where my calling lies. Ladies and gentlemen, MC Cripple and the Gimp Posse!
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December 02, 2003
But Why No "Dreidel, Dreidel"?
I deleted every episode of The West Wing from my TiVo the other day. Ever since Aaron Sorkin left, it's simply become too painful to watch. The dialog is stilted and pedantic; the characters are dull and irksome; the plots are obvious and unoriginal. Sad, really. Maybe I'll pick up the DVD set sometime so that I can be reminded of how brilliant the show used to be.
I dragged the Mannheim Steamroller Christmas albums out of the digital closet and onto my iTunes playlist. Their music is highly refined and processed ear candy. It's perfect background noise. It's the aural equivalent of getting in the car and driving around to look at the Christmas lights; a complete waste of time but you do it anyway.
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December 01, 2003
Love Is Blind
It never fails. Whenever I start writing, the phone rings. A friend from high school just called from Texas. Now if I had a disability, Texas would not be tops on my list of places to live. But whatever. He's involved with a sweet woman who is going through a messy divorce. I think the husband is making an issue of my friend's disability for purposes of gaining custody of the children. Yuck. I remember when I was dating my previous girlfriend, she had friends and family giving her variations on the whole "Are you sure you want to get involved with someone so sick?" theme. She handled it pretty well, but it still annoyed me that it even came up. I've often thought that a relationship between an able-bodied person and a person with a disability has some of the same social stigma that once confronted interracial couples. The two situations have completely different contextual dynamics, but they both force re-evaluations of the dominant culture's notions of love and the bonds that shape it.
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