November 30, 2003
Pulling My Hair Out
Holy crap, THAT was a pain in the ass. I had to move the blog to a new server and it took me forever to get Movable Type up and running again. So all that work pretty much devoured my entire Sunday. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm getting the hell away from the computer.
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November 29, 2003
Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
Since college, I've had an abiding interest in the Troubles in Northern Ireland. I once thought that if a lasting peace could take root there, it could serve as a model for other troubled regions of the world. However, the latest election results from Northern Ireland don't give me much hope.
This story about a woman getting trampled at a Wal-Mart affirms my own plans to do all of my holiday shopping on the Web. Navigating a mall full of crazed shoppers and surly teenagers does not instill in me a sense of holiday cheer. I do enjoy clipping the occasional ankle with my wheelchair, but that gets tiresome after the third or fourth victim.
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November 28, 2003
Turn It Off Before I Go Blind!
I was watching the Cowboys-Dolphins game yesterday and the halftime show was one of the most nauseating, over-the-top displays of jingoism I have ever seen on television. I think the performer was Toby Keith and he was singing some god-awful lyrics that basically boiled down to rejoicing in kicking some Ay-rab ass. And then there were the fireworks and the flags and the gyrating cheerleaders. I'm usually not one to object to gyrating cheerleaders, but it seemed rather incongruous with the lyrics of the song. Maybe my neck just isn't red enough to get the whole ambiance Mr. Keith was attempting to create.
New DVD Format Approved. Great. Guess I should start saving up for replacing my current DVD library. Bastards.
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November 27, 2003
Merci
So is anyone not having the traditional fare of turkey and the usual suspects? I think it's interesting to hear how families of different ethnicities incorporate Thanksgiving into their own culinary heritage. If you're having calamari or dim sum today, proclaim it with pride!
This being a day of thanks, here are some things I'm thankful for (in a secular sort of way, of course):
My family
My nursing staff
My friends, old and new
The iTunes Music Store (ya got nothin' on me, RIAA!)
My job
The Minneapolis skyway system
Netflix
My health (one year with no respiratory infections, yay!)
All of you, for continuing to read these scribblings of mine.
Your turn...
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November 26, 2003
Turkey Genocide
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and, as usual, I'll be doing this holiday solo. My parents usually stay in Wisconsin and I have no real plans. But shed no tears for me. I'll be kickin' it and enjoying some football and catching up on some writing. Wherever you are, I hope it's where you want to be. Have some dry, tasteless dead bird for me.
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November 25, 2003
On The Air
If you have an overwhelming desire to hear the sound of my voice, I will be doing a Webcast tomorrow at 10 a.m. CST. More information about the topic and how to access the stream can be found here. Listen and be enthralled.
The NY Times has a good piece about medical students with physical disabilities and the overall increase in students with disabilities in college and graduate school. I thought this quote was telling:
Doctors are the least comfortable and often the least knowledgeable about disability issues.
I would argue that it depends on the age and the chosen specialization of the doctor, but yeah, lots of physicians are still pretty clueless about how to interact with people with disabilities. In my previous job, I did monthly lectures for medical students on how to address the needs of adolescents and young adults with disabilities. I really enjoyed the limited contact I had with the students and I like to think I made a small difference in how they treat their future patients.
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November 24, 2003
Office Space
Anyone having problems viewing this site using Safari on OS X? If you are, let me know.
Today was one of those days when I felt I didn't get much accomplished. People kept popping into my office to discuss various issues. At least I know I'm needed. One of the perks of my disability is that I get an office instead of a crammed cubicle. The only thing I'm missing is a window. But one mustn't be picky. And then after work, my supervisor took our whole section out for beer and pizza. I love my job.
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November 23, 2003
Warehoused
As with most Sundays, I spent much of today catching up on reading material that has accumulated over the week. The New York Times Magazine has a well-written article entitled The Disability Gulag(free reg. req'd.), focusing on the institutionalization, both past and present, of people with severe disabilities. The author, Harriet McBryde Johnson (who has a disability similar to mine), discusses her own fears of entering the gulag in the future. This has also been one of my own private fears. I didn't realize it at the time, but when I was put on the ventilator my parents were presented with the option of placing me in a facility. They refused (fortunately for me), but there are times when I thought my independence was hanging from a fragile thread that could be severed without warning. Minnesota is one of a handful of states that has a real commitment to keeping people with disabilities in community settings and that has clearly benefitted me. But old fears linger and I sometimes imagine scenarios that could land me in a facility permanently. I like to think that if something like that were ever to come to pass, people would step up to bat to get me out of there as soon as possible. Anyway, whenever I do switch jobs, I think I'd like to play a role in liberating people with disabilities from institutions. Maybe I should even consider a run for some kind of local office in 2004. One thing that disability community needs is a louder political voice. What do you think? School Board? Park Board?
On a lighter note, Time had an article about one of my favorite Sunday night rituals, Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. Most television comedies are unbelievably lame, but Sealab 2021 and Home Movies can make me laugh out loud.
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November 22, 2003
Bitter, Are We?
The guy who is responsible for this website must be a real sweetheart. I'm amazed he hasn't found that special someone yet. I dare you to spend five minutes reading this bitter, vile drivel without feeling a little horrified at his pure rage against women. Oh, sorry, correction: American women.
Those of you who aren't gaming geeks can ignore the rest of this. I see that Knights of the Old Republic has been released for PC. I'm a huge fan of BioWare's stuff and I've been waiting for this for a while. Anyone tried it yet? Can it be played mostly with just a mouse? I can manage a few keyboard commands, but I prefer games that are purely mouse-driven.
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November 21, 2003
Incoming
The Twin Cities are supposed to get slammed with a major snowstorm this weekend. Great. Should make my Monday commute interesting. But having lived in the Midwest almost my entire life, the novelty of huge drifts of snow has long since worn off. It's pretty for maybe a week before I simply get tired of it. If we do get hit, I'll try to post some pictures so you all can see what you're missing.
I had to buy a new dishwasher today. Ah, the joys of owning a home. It figures that all of the appliances start to fail after I move in. Last year, it was the refrigerator. Next year, I'm betting on the oven.
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November 20, 2003
Santorum
Dan Savage writes a sex and advice column that appears in dozens of weekly newspapers across the country. I've corresponded with Dan a few times and he is a genuinely funny and articulate writer. Dan also has little patience for intolerance and homophobia. After Senator Rick Santorum made some particularly bone-headed remarks in advance of the landmark Lawrence v. Texas Supreme Court decision, Dan decided to coin a new word: santorum. Using good old-fashioned democratic methods, Dan let his readers select an appropriate meaning for "santorum" that would do justice to the man and his views. So what is santorum? I suggest you read Dan's explanation, but only if you are not the queasy type. Dan wants this alternate meaning to be on the top of a Google search result list when someone types in "santorum." So I'm doing my part by mentioning it here in my blog. I ask other bloggers to do the same.
I have a DVD copy of Throne of Blood sitting on my television that I rented from Netflix. It's been here for a month. I really need to watch it. It's starting to piss me off, just sitting there. It mocks me: "Ohhh, look at the guy who says he's a film buff! Hey, poseur, you gonna watch me or not? Or are you just gonna keep me sitting around so that on the remote chance a woman ever visits your place, you can impress her by casually pointing me out and saying how you just love Kurosawa? Please!"
Oh, how it mocks me!
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November 19, 2003
Near Miss
Run, Jacko, run. I mean, really. Does this development surprise even the most ardent Michael Jackson fan? Does he even have fans anymore? And those screaming banshees in Germany and Japan who gather outside his hotel waiting for a glimpse of the Gloved One are not fans. They are crazed zealots.
I'm curious to hear opinions from my UK readers about Bush's visit to London. After reading about some of the paranoid, ridiculous security demands his administration made, I half-expected the entire city of London to be evacuated just to be sure that no agitators came within screaming distance of the president. And boy, is Harold Pinter pissed.
Lately, I've trying to figure out how blogs influence our so-called real lives. Via this blog, I got back in touch with an acquaintance from college and we've been exchanging the occasional e-mail. And I'm reading her wonderfully funny and sparkling prose and I can't help but shake my head and wonder why we didn't become better friends eight or nine years ago. And if she hadn't stumbled on this blog, we probably never would have connected and I would missed the opportunity for a new friendship. I continue to be amazed at how this blog, this whisper amongst so much shouting, continues to shape my life.
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November 18, 2003
A Whiskey Drink, A Lager Drink
I went out for a beer with a friend after work today. Or, more precisely, he had a couple beers while I took a few sips of mine. Drinking is a bit of a chore for me because I don't have a great swallow. And keep your dirty comments to yourself. And we were in a bar, which means I have to work a little harder to make myself heard above the din. But it was good to hang out and just talk guy stuff. We talked about going to Ground Zero, which is this club in northeast Minneapolis that is frequented by the goth crowd. My friend has a thing for goth women and I think it'd be fun to go and check out the scene. Anytime I go to a club, I can usually forget about talking to anyone because my voice simply isn't loud enough. So whenever someone tries to talk to me in that setting, I feel a little awkward. Oh well. One less guy for the women to be annoyed by. But there was that one time I went to the Gay 90s and...
We'll save that story for another time.
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November 17, 2003
So I'm Standing On The Corner Wearing My Leather
"United States of Whatever" is hereby the national anthem of The 19th Floor.
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The Kindness Of Strangers
I wish we lived in a Star Trek universe where every door opened automatically, complete with cool whooshing sound. Heavy manual doors are the bane of most wheelchair users' lives. I always have someone with me, which makes things a little easier. It would be much more difficult getting around if I was alone. Minneapolis is better than most American cities in terms of accessibility, but there is still the occasional door or entryway that can be a real pain to navigate, even with another person accompanying me. If I had a dollar for every time I thanked someone for holding a door for me, I could buy out Microsoft. If we can engineer a robotic dog, surely we can devise a cheap and easy way for making every door automatic.
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November 16, 2003
I Told You It Was Literature!
Back when I was a kid, I was in and out of the hospital quite a bit, usually for pneumonia. And it was during those stays that I discovered comics. They were a good distraction from the constant noise, commotion, and discomfort that usually accompanied those visits. But after a couple years, I quit reading them because I felt compelled to read more "mature" material. A few years ago, my interest in comics was rekindled when I shared an office with a fellow law clerk who was an avid comics reader. Now I have a modest collection and I proudly stand before the world as an unabashed comics fan. but I still get the occasional "what the hell are you reading?" from friends and family who still cling to the misconception that comics are a juvenile medium. They should all read this article in the Telegraph, which does a nice job of summarizing some of the books and writers that represent some of the more sophisticated fare the genre has to offer.
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November 15, 2003
I Was Worried There For A Minute
Good news! The likelihood of our planet getting smashed by an asteroid just got smaller. So now can we please destroy every copy of Armageddon in existence. God, I hated that movie. But I did see Master and Commander today, which is worth your time. Lots of old-fashioned swashes being buckled and so forth. My nurse was all ga-ga over Russell Crowe and his flowing tresses. I thought he looked a bit doughy myself. If Russell Crowe and I got into a barfight, who do you think would win? I may be small, but I fight dirty. Maybe I should write his agent a letter and challenge him to a no-holds-barred fracas at the venue of his choice. We could make it into this huge pay-per-view event. I could be rich! Rich, I tell you!
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November 14, 2003
Oh, Susannah!
My friend Susannah Breslin, formerly of the Reverse Cowgirl Blog, has a new book out. Go read this interview, wherein she discusses her literary influences and the remarkably, er, varied porn collection she used to own. Hey Susannah, who do I have to sleep with to get a signed copy?
I came across this blurb about an Edinburgh woman who has over 1,000 body piercings, including 500 in and around her genitalia. Guess she's not the cuddling type.
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November 13, 2003
Just A Little Bit of History Repeating
By no means do I support our government's decision to invade Iraq, but it's really interesting to read newspaper accounts of postwar Germany and note some of the striking similarities between the past and present. Go here or here to see what I mean. I think it's a good reminder that peace and stability are not achieved overnight. But it would have been nice if someone in the Bush administration had done a little historical research when drawing up the invasion plans. My mom was a kid living in Germany during that occupation. I should ask her what her memories are of that time.
Unwatched programs are starting to pile up on my TiVo. I read an amusing article about people who are beginning to resent their TiVos because it represents one more list of tasks to complete in an overtasked world. One guy was skipping the gym so he could keep up with recordings of Dawson's Creek repeats. Okay, I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that this guy is too dumb to remember why he bought a TiVo or the fact that he admits watching Dawson's Creek.
Extra credit to those of you who can identify the singer quoted in the title for this entry.
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November 12, 2003
Free Stuff
I don’t usually pitch work-related stuff here, but we just completed work on a video that addresses disability and employment issues. It’s pretty good, if I do say so myself It’s only thirty minutes in length and it’s available free of charge on VHS or DVD. If you would like a copy, go here and fill out an order form. You’ll actually be doing me a favor because we’re getting a huge shipment of them tomorrow and we don’t have anywhere to put them except for, you guessed it, my office. And no, I’m not in the video. I’m not completely shameless.
This article in The Onion about blogging is hilarious. Look, the byline says Minneapolis! This could be me!
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November 11, 2003
Generation X
I knew the whole Rock the Vote thing on CNN last week was just a lame attempt to pander to us younger voters, but is it really necessary to plant such inane questions? Can we please get the clueless media out of the election process, just for a little while? And did you see some of the campaign videos that were designed to appeal to the "young people." They were all identical. It was as if every campaign manager thought, "Okay, what are the kids into? Music videos! Check! Raves! Check! Ecstasy! Check! You, there! Gather together some stock campaign footage, download some obscure techno on Kazaa, pop some X, and edit everything together! You have three hours!"
Being a state employee, I had Veterans Day off today. It's kind of weird to have a day off in the middle of the week. It throws off my whole internal calendar.
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November 10, 2003
Broken Heart
It looks like my pal Dennis Kucinich is on the prowl for a lady friend. Oh, Dennis, say it isn't so! I thought we shared a moment on that special evening last month. But then you never called, not even after I sent you that bouquet of roses and the poem I wrote one evening after throwing back a few rum-and-Cokes. Okay, maybe the line about your huge ears sheltering me like a big pink canopy from this cruel, cruel world was a bit much, but can't you see I love you? I'm not going to be ignored, Dennis!
I was asked today to appear on this public access television show that deals with disability issues. It's hosted by someone who uses a wheelchair, but a friend then cautioned me that the stage for the show isn't really accessible except for a jury-rigged ramp that isn't really built to ADA specs. So you have a show about disability issues that has its own barriers to people with disabilities. You can cut the irony with a knife.
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November 09, 2003
Just Who The Hell Is Frodo, Anyway?
Tonight I'll be spreading the Gospel of Tolkien and screening The Fellowship of the Ring for a friend of mine who has never seen it. I have the extended version so I hope he's ready to sit for 3+ hours. As is my custom around this time of year, I'm re-reading the final book in the trilogy in preparation for the next movie. I'm betting that Peter Jackson will finally get his Oscar for this one, unless something goes horribly wrong. It's interesting to read the books again. I think I was eleven or twelve the last time and a lot of the language went over my head at the time.
I like to give attention to new blogs whenever possible, so check out the Australian-based ad lib. It's run by a young woman who is both funny and articulate. Go give her some love.
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November 08, 2003
Book Excerpt
Enjoy:
Back in February or March, Vic had invited me to his cousin's bachelor party. I didn't know his cousin, but I had never been to a bachelor party and it sounded like fun. We had dinner at some German restaurant in the Northeast neighborhood that served dark beer in ridiculously tall steins. The weather that night was mild and we decided to go bar-hopping downtown. We ended up at a place in the Warehouse District called Escapades. I had been to places like it before and I always thought they were kind of tacky. Something about the music (lots of obnoxious stuff by Guns 'n Roses and similar bands) and the perfunctory solicitations or twenty-dollar lap dances just didn't seem that erotic.
I was sitting at a table with Vic and a couple other guys I didn't know. We were having a good time watching Brian, Vic's cousin, be humiliated on the main stage by some aggressive dancers. He was sitting on a folding chair and grinning like an idiot as an assortment of bare tits were pressed against his face. After it was over and he stumbled back to his table, he looked over his shoulder and waved at us. We waved wildly back at him, cheering and laughing. Then Brian caught the attention of a passing dancer and shouted something in her ear. He pointed in our direction and slipped a couple twenties into her hand. The dancer nodded and walked over to our table. She wore a slinky red dress over a petite frame and her platinum blond hair was short and spiky. She leaned over the table and looked straight at me.
"Are you James?" she said, shouting to make herself heard over the pounding music.
Before I could answer, Vic and the other guys enthusiastically confirmed that I was indeed James. The dancer, whose name I never did catch, informed me that the gentleman at the table over there had paid her to give me a private dance. More hooting and hollering from Vic and his friends. I felt my face grow hot and I couldn't think of anything to say. She asked me to follow her and so I did, the other guys' shouts and catcalls still ringing in my ears. She led me into a back room that was lined with couches. It was darker than the rest of the club, but I could still see the naked bodies of other dancers as they gyrated against their customers. One kid who looked barely eighteen was staring in slack-jawed amazement as a leggy redhead dry-humped his knee. In another corner, a couple guys in expensive-looking suits were being attended to by a pair of large-breasted women in high heels.
The petite blond asked me if I wanted to get out of my chair and I said it was probably easier if I stayed where I was. She said no problem and had me park my chair so that I was facing one of the couches near the back of the room. The next song started to play and she positioned herself between me and the couch. Her body swayed in time with the music and she slid her thumbs under the straps of her dress. With one quick movement, the dress fell to the floor. Her skin was pale and she had a small but noticeable surgical scar on the left side of her abdomen. She squeezed her small breasts together and licked one of her rose-colored nipples. I wasn't sure where I should be looking and my discomfort must have showed because she laughed and mussed my hair. "Don't worry. I won't bite." She leaned forward and I could smell cigarettes and perfume and sweat. She slid up and I realized that she was practically sitting in my lap.
That's when her knee or elbow must have pressed against the joystick connected to my armrest. I had forgotten to cut the power to my chair and suddenly we were flying backwards across the room at full speed. I heard the customers and dancers behind me yelp and shout at each other to get out of the way. The dancer in my lap was screaming in my ear and trying to get her legs out from under herself so that she could get off me. But her weight must have shifted or one of my wheels must have hit a run in the ancient shag carpet because the room tilted sharply and I felt something hard smack against the back of my head. When my vision cleared, I realized that my chair had tipped over and I was lying flat on my back. A halo of concerned faces was looking down on me. The dancer disentangled herself from me and ran out to get help. By the time she returned with Vic in tow, the two guys in expensive suits had already righted my chair. She was crying and she kept asking me if I was hurt. I was still a little dazed, but I managed to joke that other than not being able to walk, I was fine. I don't think she got it at first, but then she smiled a little. A big beefy guy who must have been the manager came rushing back carrying a fistful of free admittance passes and porn magazines, probably hoping that it would be enough to protect his club from a potential lawsuit. But the only thing I was thinking about was getting the hell out of there, away from the stares of naked women and anonymous men. Vic drove me home and I went to bed with my head still throbbing.
Posted by wintermute2_0 at 07:17 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
November 07, 2003
Out & About
So I get up, go in to work for a couple hours for a meeting, drive home, dash off to a 1:00 lunch appointment with a law school friend, come home again for an hour, leave again to go to a fundraiser, come home again. The fundraiser was fun. It was for Access Press, a local newspaper that focuses on disability issues. I got to sit at the same table with Representative Betty McCollum, who gave a nice keynote speech and I saw a lot of people with whom I work on a daily basis. And now it's almost midnight and I can barely remember my name.
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November 06, 2003
Slacker
I just don't feel like doing any "serious" writing tonight. As some of you know, I try to write a page each day in one of my ongoing projects. Tonight, I'm sitting here staring at my screen and not wanting to do anything productive. And I'm feeling guilty as a result, which is probably a good thing. Maybe I just need to get away from the computer for a little while. I don't have to be at work until ten tomorrow so perhaps I can try writing later tonight.
I was at a work-related event yesterday where I met this really cute staffer from Senator Dayton's office. She gave me her card and I was going to e-mail her to see if I could get her to go out to lunch with me. But then I got home and looked at the card: no e-mail address. I know I could be all quaint and twentieth century and just use the phone, but somehow that seems more intrusive and I feel like I would have to invent some lame excuse for calling her. And I just don't like the way I sound on the phone. Don't you just love reading about my awkward fumblings with the opposite sex? I should change the subtitle of this blog from "Mark Siegel's Desperate Plea for Attention" to "Mark Siegel Is Just Desperate."
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November 05, 2003
Mad-Town
My boss was recently in Madison and brought me back a couple hard copies of The Onion. Most people don't know that The Onion started as this little alternative newspaper started by a couple college kids in Madison. Seeing those papers brought back some of my own memories of Madison. When I was put on the vent, I was 13 and a patient at the University of Wisconsin Hospital. I spent three months there recovering from pneumonia. While I was there, I met a lot of amazing doctors and nurses. They were the ones who helped me understand that an ordinary life was still possible with a ventilator, that I would still go to college and get a job someday. They never discussed with me the possibility of living in a facility, something which could have easily happened. And in the years since, I've come to realize just how important those people were in my life and how ahead of their time they really were. In the mid 80s, it was still relatively unheard of for someone on a ventilator to live at home. Much of what I have now, I owe directly to their efforts. So if any of my former physicians and nurses from the UW pediatric ICU and F6/4 & F4/4 units are reading this, thank you.
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November 04, 2003
Multiple Choice
Oh, hey, look, another Democratic presidential debate. 123 down, 176 to go. Do these debates even mean anything? As Jon Stewart said on the Daily Show, can't they wrestle or something? Boooring!
I stayed at work late today and I was talking to a co-worker of mine, who asked me how my dating life was. Nonexistent, said I. Oh, she said, you should try [unnamed Internet dating service]. So I get home and figure, what the hell, I'll take a look. I go to the site and it asks you to complete an extensive personality test that rivals the MMPI or Myers-Briggs in scope. I waste over half an hour on this stupid survey. Finally, I finish it and I'm ready to search for my true love. I click on "Search" and thirty seconds later, it tells me that it can't find any matches. This leaves me to conclude either a) I'm too picky, b) I'm a complete loser, c) a stupid survey failed to capture my quirky brand of sex appeal, or d) a and b. My money is on d.
Posted by wintermute2_0 at 09:36 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
November 03, 2003
Winter Is Coming
Another day, another complaint from my friendly neighbor. I'm beginning to think that I should give him a monthly bribe to leave me the hell alone. It's either that or turn off the ventilator while I'm home, which probably isn't a good idea.
As I speak, it's snowing heavily outside. We may have 2-3 inches by the end of the day. Why do I have the feeling that this winter is going to be really long?
Wired has an amusing but melancholy story about the spammer seeking time-traveling equipment. It would be funny if the guy wasn't so earnest in his beliefs.
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November 02, 2003
Eight Years and Thousands Dead Later
I can't believe it's been eight years since Rabin was assassinated. Would the world be different if he had lived? I like to think so. The picture of the kid who shot him should be held right next to those of Arafat and Sharon as the three people most responsible for the senseless violence that still plagues the region.
The city of Minneapolis is planning on installing wireless transmitters throughout the dozens of parks and public spaces scattered throughout our fair environs, thus blanketing the city with free or at least low cost Internet access. I wonder if this means I'll be able to dump my ISP.
Debating with myself whether to watch the Packers-Vikings game tonight. The Packers are notoriously awful when playing in the Metrodome and I'm not sure I want to waste three hours of my life watching them be teh suck.
Posted by wintermute2_0 at 06:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 01, 2003
Gender Roles
I just got back from seeing the director's cut of Alien. I was only six when it was originally released in the theaters, so I never got to see properly it until now. It still ranks as one of the grungiest science fiction films ever made, with Blade Runner a close second. And I think it's one of the first movies to establish that women can play strong, kick-ass protagonists without losing their essential femininity. Sigourney Weaver's character set the stage for Buffy and Alias and Lara Croft, among countless others.
I was on my way to a meeting at a federal building in St. Paul the other day when something odd happened. We had to go through a security checkpoint and the guard instructed my nurse to bring "her over here." Her being me. He referred to me as "her" a couple more times before we were through and I didn't bother correcting him, figuring it wasn't worth my time. But this has happened to me a few times and I'm not sure why. I don't know if it's my small size or my hair or if people just don't look. One of my other nurses told me I don't make an attractive woman. Not that I make an attractive man either, but that's just my opinion.
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