October 31, 2003

The Witching Hour

I hope everyone's having a good Halloween so far. A couple people at work actually were in costume today, which surprised. I scare children for most of the year, so I'm talking tonight off and staying in. This week has felt kind of long and I'm relieved I can sleep in tomorrow. I've never been much of a morning person. If I didn't have someone to physically haul my ass out of bed, I'd probably be late for work every day. I'm much more of a night owl. I usually stay up until at least 1 or 2 if I don't have anything going on the next day. But I have been known to fall asleep in my wheelchair from time to time.

And before I go, here are some Halloween Safety Tips that you would be well-advised to follow.

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October 30, 2003

Live from Grovers Mill

I want to thank those of you who sent me Friendster and Tribe invitations. I'll post my thoughts on them in a few days.

I listened to the original radio broadcast of War of the Worlds while at work today. It's still a great piece of storytelling, even though the science is a bit questionable (rockets travel from Mars to Earth in minutes!). I can't imagine that a stunt like this would work in today's age of media sophistication, but I envy the fun that Welles and his crew must have had in putting this together. And the 1950s film version is great too. Speaking of which, what are some suggestions for a Halloween movie marathon. I have to admit that I have a special fondness for the film Pitch Black. Despite having Vin Diesel in the cast, it's still a scary and even somewhat original story. Others?

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October 29, 2003

We're All Friends Here

Hey, is anyone out there on Friendster? If so, you think I can get an invite? I'm not really interested in finding a date; I just want to see how the thing works. I read this little blurb about it on Ars Technica and the concept intrigues me. I'm always fascinated by the various ways technology shapes our social interactions and behavior. Just look at phonecams. They've been around for what, a little over a year? And already schools and health clubs and other places of business are starting to ban their use. Is Friendster just a digital form of traditional matchmaking or is it more illustrative of the whole concept of six degrees of separation? Anyway, I'm curious.

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October 28, 2003

Parenthood

One of my colleagues at work had a baby shower today. Man, the amount of stuff she got! It was a little overwhelming to behold. But her daughter is adorable. I don't think about this much, but sometimes I wonder what kind of father I would be. I think I'd be terribly insecure about not being able to meet the physical needs of a child; things like bathing, dressing, feeding, etc. I might be okay once the kid hits five or six. I could turn my chair into a kind of jungle gym (Careful, Daddy needs that to breathe) and start turning them on to books and music and stuff. Not that I foresee fatherhood as a likely part of my future, but stranger things have happened. And a kid could probably do worse than have me as a parent. For one thing, the whole corporal punishment thing is absolutely removed from the equation. The kid will acquire a healthy repertoire of expletives, but that's just part of building a good vocabulary.

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October 27, 2003

Executive Seating

Swedish engineering and design isn't just confined to Volvos. Check out this wheelchair by Permobil. I think it says me all over it, don't you?

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October 26, 2003

Decisions, Decisions

The Schiavo debacle in Florida has motivated me to start drafting a living will. You would think that, as an attorney, I would have been on top of this little matter long ago. You would be wrong. Despite my best attempts to find a way to live forever, I should face facts and prepare for the possibility that something unexpected may happen to me. I'm contemplating who I should designate as a proxy in such a situation. It's a difficult decision because I need someone who will be able to carry out my wishes without being unduly influenced by their own emotions. I'll say here and now that if I was to enter a coma or permanent vegetative state with no or minimal chance for improvement, I would want my ventilator disconnected and all fluids withheld. The State of Minnesota has been kind enough to give the services I need to live a rich and satisfying life. No point in running up the bill once I've checked out.

If you haven't seen Bend It Like Beckham yet, do yourself a favor and check it out. It's a sweet and funny film that gently explores the divide between Anglo and Punjabi cultures. I enjoyed it immensely. My best friend from high school is married to a lovely Indian woman and some of the wedding scenes in the movie reminded me of their marriage ceremony.

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October 25, 2003

Beg Your Pardon?

Today is one of the first genuinely cool, overcast autumn days we've had in Minneapolis. And it reminds me that winter isn't far behind. For someone with a disability, getting around in the winter can be a real PITA. Between the snow and the putting on and taking off jackets and the temporary loss of sensation in my extremities, it sometimes is easier to just stay home. Fortunately, I live in a downtown that is interconnected by a series of elevated walkways called skyways. I can get to most places downtown without ever stepping outside, including shops, restaurants, a movie theater, etc. Now if only my workplace was located downtown. But I'd trade it all for a condo overlooking the sea in Los Angeles or San Francisco.

In a recent address to the Australian Parliament, Bush said:

We see a China that is stable and prosperous, a nation that respects the peace of its neighbors and works to secure the freedom of its own people.

Oh, man, that's funny.

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October 24, 2003

A Private Affair

I've avoided commenting on the so-called right-to-die case in Florida because I really don't see the main issue being the right to die. I see this as bad reality television. You have a family with some pretty messed-up dynamics who are airing out all their grievances in front of millions of people watching CNN. It's unfortunate that the woman at the center of all this didn't leave behind clearer instructions regarding her wishes. I've gone on record as being opposed to assisted suicide for people with disabilities, but I also support an individual's right to refuse treatment, either independently or through a proxy. Every judge in Florida who handled this case ruled that the husband was acting properly in his role as a proxy. So who the hell is the Florida legislature to step in and assume they know what's best for this woman? If I had a proxy to handle my health care decisions, I certainly would not want the state intervening. By the same token, I'm a little annoyed with the disability activists who are screaming that the woman is being targeted for death because of her disability. While I agree that people with disabilities shouldn't be regarded as having an inferior quality of life, I don't think that we should be politicizing a private family affair and simultaneously undermining the entire concept of an independent judiciary. This just rankles the attorney in me. And the funny thing is that it will still be the judiciary who ultimately decides this matter.

Writing Update: I'm now dividing my attention between the ever-present book and a new short story. And this time, short means SHORT. Hopefully, no more than 20-30 pages.

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October 23, 2003

And After We Eat, We'll Play Twister!

My sister wanted to go to this place called The Melting Pot for dinner last night. It's this fondue place in downtown Minneapolis. Eating fondue can be a novel experience and it was fun, but the place kind of felt like it was trying to force the "isn't this fun" factor on you. Anyway, I did my big brother duty for one of my siblings yet again. If one of them ever has the means to buy me dinner, I might faint from shock.

If you have access to iTunes, check out the song "Kennedy" by Kill Hannah. It's great; a little reminiscent of Smashing Pumpkins or The Cure.

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October 22, 2003

Cheers

I'm taking my sister belatedly out to dinner for her 21st birthday, so blogging is light today. I remember my 21st birthday. A friend gave me a capful of Southern Comfort and I coughed and sputtered for the next five minutes. I'm pathetic.

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October 21, 2003

Throw Me The Idol!

I see that the Indiana Jones trilogy just got released to DVD. I have vivid memories of my mom taking me to see this movie on a summer afternoon when I was about 9 or so. I didn't really have a clue what it was about but Mom thought it would be something I'd like. It's scary to contemplate how many times I've seen this movie over the years. But it really is the embodiment of the perfect popcorn movie, right up there with North by Northwest. I'm curious to see what they do with the fourth movie, should it ever come to fruition. Indiana Jones and the Fountain of Youth, perhaps? Indiana Jones: Adventures in the Geriatric Unit?

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October 20, 2003

Freak Show

I just got home from a meeting of a non-profit board of directors and I'm beat. But I came across this posting on BoingBoing where journalist Peter Sheridan describes a recent lecture he attended where Stephen Hawking was the presenter. As is typical of articles about Hawking, it focuses more on his disability than the content of his lecture. Sheridan seems to have a doll fetish that comes through in his writing. Observe:

One of the most brilliant minds alive on the planet today, he is cruelly trapped within a useless body, which slumps like an understuffed and oversized rag doll in his large and gadget-filled wheelchair.

And then:

Once, early on in the lecture, his head slumped forward like a broken doll, and an aide had to walk on stage to readjust his body: an undignified moment as Hawking's head was manhandled and repositioned, and then his whole body picked up and put down, as if the aide was plumping up a particularly large and unwieldy pillow.

I'm sure Sheridan is a fine journalist, but someone needs to buy this guy a clue. And a new set of similes. Yes, the poor crippled genius. What a shame. The guy is still collecting royalties on a book millions of people bought but never finished and is probably the only heir apparent to Einstein, but Sheridan gets all hung up on the fact that Hawking needed a little repositioning. The only indignity I see is writing about Dr. Hawking like he's a sideshow attraction.

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October 19, 2003

A Separate Peace

I was organizing my music collection today (my life is one nonstop thrill ride) and I discovered that I have a little over 8 gigs of music. Almost enough to fill my entire iPod. So now the question becomes: how long can I go before I upgrade to a larger one? I found myself browsing 20 GB models on eBay today. What's really pathetic is that I got this one for my birthday only a few months ago.

General William Boykin is a devout evangelical Christian who is also a senior Defense Department official. Describing a battle he fought against a Somali warlord, he said, “I knew that my God was bigger than his God. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol.” He also claims that Bush was elected because God wanted it that way, using as supporting evidence that a majority of Americans didn't vote for him. He has made some feeble attempts to explain himself, but not before the press aired all of his boneheaded remarks from over the years. I actually have some sympathy for evangelicals like Boykin. They are desperately trying to keep themselves true to their own rigid moral compass, from being washed away by the tides of modernity and pluralism. And when your beliefs are so hopelessly medieval as to be almost irrelevant, you probably feel the need to shout all the louder just to be heard above the din. I think that's what's going on here. In some ways, evangelicals remind me of the Amish and Mennonites. The key difference is that those groups realized that mainstream society would never change to accommodate their beliefs, so instead they chose to live apart in their own insular communities. I wonder if we will one day see a similar phenomenon among evangelicals.

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October 18, 2003

Dumpster Diving

I went to a cool theater tonight that has been around since the '20s. It has one screen but cool vaunted ceilings, archways, and even a guy playing the organ as the audience entered the theater. If you're ever in the Cities, it's worth checking out. Oh, and the movie was Mystic River, which is worth seeing for Sean Penn's performance.

One of my nurses playfully told me that if I ever misbehaved, I'd end up in my building's trash chute. She was kidding. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she was kidding. But I'm about the right size that you probably could stuff me down the chute without too much trouble. So if I should ever turn up missing, have someone check the chutes. Not that I'm worried. I treat my nurses with the utmost respect. And besides, if I die, ain't nobody getting paid the cash money. Mark alive=job security.

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October 17, 2003

The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem

As I suspected, my law school reunion blew. There were only about 5 people there from my class (1998). Oh well, perhaps I'll have better luck at the ten-year reunion. Maybe by then, people will be more inclined to boast about themselves.

I dropped about $20 at the iTunes Music Store last night. They make it way too easy to start clicking and buying. I'll have to set myself a monthly cap. I had a discussion with one person who thought $.99 was still too much for a song. I think it's eminently reasonable. Compared to the obscene prices for CDs and the morass of mislabeled files and porn that is P2P, I'll gladly pay $.99 for the conveniences of getting the song I want at a decent recording quality. And I like iTunes a lot as well. Almost makes me understand why people buy Macs. Almost.

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October 16, 2003

Life Is Cruel

I knew it. I should never have written about a Cubs-Red Sox Series. It's all my fault. I'm sorry. And now I really need to get to bed because I've been messing with the new iTunes for far too long.

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October 15, 2003

Hope & Despair

I think I've recovered from my Tiny Tim moment yesterday, but it got me thinking about politicians and disability issues. In my own experience, most politicians are clueless about the disability community and how to interact with them. There are some exceptions: Paul Wellstone was a respected figure in disability circles. So is Senator Jeffords. And Clinton demonstrated remarkable ease around people with disabilities. But most politicians, Republican, Democrat, whatever, probably give little thought to issues like accessibility, personal care services, employment discrimination, etc. People with disabilities are mostly viewed as handy photo ops to demonstrate one's compassion/charity/sainthood/whatever. And I'm not sure what can be done to change these perceptions. Part of the problem is that we need more people with disabilities who are politically active, especially in the inner circles of campaigns and congressional staff. But that's a bit difficult to ask for when almost 70% of adults with disabilities are unemployed. Every time get a well-meaning but extremely annoying "God bless you" from some stranger on the street or encounter another business owner/employer that has never heard of the ADA, I despair that things will never change. But then I look around at my own life and realize that twenty years ago, someone my age and with my disability would most likely be dead or in an institution.

So while I sometimes wish we would just hurry up and get enlightened already, I realize how far we have come in just a short while.

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October 14, 2003

Dennis Kucinich Kissed Me!

I'm not sure what else to say because I'm still traumatized. I usually don't go to political rallies expecting to be mauled by the candidate. If I had known that was goiing to happen, I wouldn't have sat in the front row. Condescending bastard. I'm going to require years of therapy and all of the bills are going to his campaign manager.

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What Big Ears You Have!

One of my nurses asked me to go to a Kucinich rally this evening. I'll probably go for no other reason than that I've never been to a presidential rally. I think he has absolutely zero chance of winning the nomination, but I admire his passion. Maybe I can score a picture or two while I'm there.

I'm not a huge baseball fan, but even I'd watch a Cubs-Red Sox World Series. I'd be curious to hear from long-suffering fans from of both teams, unless you're afraid you'll jinx everything by talking about it.

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October 13, 2003

Use The Force

Scientists have developed a brain implant that allows a monkey to control a robot with brain impulses. Just another indicator that human/machines interfaces are probably only a decade or so away. I've always dreamed of being able to drive a car with my brain. I'd even be happy to be able to control my entertainment system with thought rather than having to talk my nurses through multiple steps on a complex remote control. Or just answering the phone. I hereby offer my services as human guinea pig when these devices reach human test trials.

Spammers are the true vermin of the human race. I've started to notice porn spam in the comments section of the blog. I know there are ways to prevent it, but so far it's a minor annoyance. Still, is there no medium that these vampires won't touch? Will the whole internet one day become just a world-spanning back alley for purveyors of penis enlargement pills and low-interest mortgages?

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October 12, 2003

But Where's The Gimp?

I saw Kill Bill yesterday and will most likely see it again. Some of the visuals in the film are so striking that they demand a second viewing. I also fell in love with the spaghetti western overtones in the soundtrack. And the extended anime sequence was a poetic piece of filmmaking in and of itself. Like some of the critics, I wish there had been more of the verbal fireworks I expect in a Tarantino film, but I'm expecting that Volume 2 will satisfy that wish.

I spent much of the afternoon finishing a novel I've been reading. I can read quickly and I think I went through about 150 pages in one sitting. I remember a college class I had on the Victorian novel. If you're looking for light reading, look elsewhere than the Victorians. We had to read massive tomes like Vanity Fair and Middlemarch. I dreaded the daily reading assignments, which were usually 50-100 pages. I actually faked my way through some of that class because I didn't always feel like doing the reading. But now, I almost wish I could do the class over

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October 11, 2003

Dis & Dat

I was checking out TypePad, which just got out of beta. I'm intrigued by the interface; it looks like it definitely simplifies some of the pain-in-the-ass blogging tasks like inserting photos and links. I'll probably keep this site where it is, however. I don't feel like going through the hassle of moving everything over and possibly losing some content. I'll take a wait-and-see approach and see what kind of reviews it gets from other users.

I've also been trying out the beta version of the FeedDemon aggregator. It kicks all kind of ass over Newzcrawler. The interface is much cleaner and the coding seems much tighter because everything loads rather quickly. Best of all, it's free!

And iTunes for Windows is going to be unveiled Thursday, according to the rumors. It sounds like they're expanding their selection and I'm curious to see what they will offer. The new Napster also looks interesting, but alas, the file format is incompatible with my iPod. Why must every new technology be accompanied by a format war? It makes adoption by the consumer that much difficult and the superior format doesn't always emerge as the winner. Witness Betamax vs. VHS. That's why DVDs were so successful so quickly. One format from the starting gate that could be played on any player.

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October 10, 2003

Come Together

Rush Limbaugh admitted he's an addict. I hope he gets the treatment he needs, but I hope he recognizes that he now has a disability and stops bashing laws like the ADA. Addiction is a recognized disability under the ADA, although it only applies to addicts in recovery, which I find odd. I also find odd the reactions of many in the disability community to categorizing addiction as a disability. I once got flamed several times by people in a newsgroup discussion after I pointed out that addiction is and should be regarded as a disability. They howled that addicts choose to be addicts while they never chose to be disabled. The implied moral superiority in these statements annoyed the hell out of me. I absolutely believe in a genetic predisposition to addiction. And, as I've commented before, it disturbs me that an "us-vs.them" attitude persists in some quarters of the disability community.

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October 09, 2003

That's Just...Wrong

I was looking at referrals to the site when I saw that someone stumbled on The 19th Floor after doing a Google search for "ventilator fetish." I'm an open-minded guy; really, I am. I believe that people should feel free to explore their sexuality as long as it involves consenting adults. But I'll confess to being a little creeped out by this. I've been on a ventilator for 17 years and I just can't see anything to get excited about. It's just a boxy device with knobs and indicator lights. But maybe there's a niche market in catering to the vent fetishist crowd. I could start posting pictures of various makes of ventilators in subdued lighting. I could make MP3s of ventilator alarms. I could start my own pay-to-play site: HOTVENTACTION.COM! Featuring the naughty LP-10! Only $12.99 per month! Must be over 18!

Now, on a completely different note, here's me striking a pose in front of my slightly modified Dodge Caravan. As we all know, women can't resist a guy who drives a minivan:

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Abandoned

This article summarizes the results of a survey of over 3,000 blogs. I wasn't terribly surprised to see that 66% of blogs haven't been updated in two months. Blogging is one of those things that's easy to start but difficult to maintain. I suppose it can be compared to exercise or dieting. I keep waiting for the day to arrive when I have nothing new to say, but my capacity for babbling remains undiminished. I also like the article's use of the term nanoaudience to describe the small circle of friends and family who read the average blog. I like to think I'm closer to a microaudience. And someday, if I'm lucky, maybe I'll reach miniaudience proportions.

I'm all about dreaming the big dreams.

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October 08, 2003

Collecting Dust

Almost finished with the script for the first issue of my proposed comic. I am still having fun writing it, but I have no idea what to do with it once it's complete. I don't know any artists, so it will probably just sit on my hard drive along with a hundred other projects. But at least I'll complete it, which is more than I can say for a lot of the other things I started to write. Over the past year my writing habits have become much more disciplined. And if there are any bored and aspiring comic book artists out there, e-mail me and we can feed each other's delusions of fame and fortune.

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October 07, 2003

Conan the Governor

For all of you living in California, you have my sympathies. It looks like you're about to get saddled with a Teutonic ass-grabber for governor. After the strange trip Minnesota experienced with Ventura, all I can say is enjoy your ability to be shocked while you still can. After a year of Ventura's behavior, I became as jaded as a New Yorker in a Scorsese film. Nothing he said or did surprised me. And five will get you ten that Schwarzenegger will make two or three colossally stupid statements within thirty days of being sworn in.

I keep waiting for confirmation that iTunes for Windows will be unveiled this month. My iPod is only a tenth full and P2P is becoming a pain in the ass to use. So, what's on your MP3 player/Discman/stereo/turntable?

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October 06, 2003

Parental Concern

My dad called me this afternoon and, after reminding me to send him money for car insurance, mildly admonished me for what I write in my blog. I'm sure that there's some stuff in here that probably makes them uncomfortable. I love my parents dearly, but they have always been a little overprotective of me, which is pretty typical of all parents of children with disabilities. And I'm also the oldest, which probably carries some expectations of "proper" behavior. "Try to be a little more intellectual," my dad advised. I'll keep that in mind, but I think all of you would flee this site like rats from a sinking ship if I just rehashed Salon every day.

Besides, I'm plenty intellectual at work, which is where this picture was taken:

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Technical Assistance

A couple of you have pointed out to me that the blog isn't displaying properly in Opera. Are there any HTML geeks out there who could help troubleshoot this problem?

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October 05, 2003

The First Victims

I forgot to post this earlier, but the AP ran a story a few days ago about new research into the Nazis' planned extermination of people with disabilities. I found this interesting because I had a section devoted to this period of history in my law journal article. It's a story that is sometimes overlooked in Holocaust studies.

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Showing Off

I took this picture last night of my slightly modded computer. All I did was put in a few fans with LED lights, but the effect is cool.

And here's me working on my comic script. The headset I'm wearing communicates with the black box sitting on top of the monitor, which is how I move the mouse. I "click" with a piezoelectric switch that rests under my right thumb.

So I guess I'm starting a little photoblog here. It won't be as cool as Xeni's but I thought it might be interesting to illustrate some of the daily aspects of living with a physical disability like mine. And I also want to give everyone a sense of how beautiful Minnesota can be. Let me know if you get bored.

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October 04, 2003

Testing

Here's some initial shots from my camera:

This is a shot of me and my lovely nurse Michelle using the camera's remote timer.

And this is a picture looking out my window using the camera's black and white filter.

I'll probably be going out tonight and maybe I'll have time to get some pictures of downtown at street level.

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New Toy

I was totally irresponsible today and bought a digital camera. I just got home and I haven't had a chance to run it through its paces yet, but be forewarned. I'm about to annoy you with dozens of redundant photos of my apartment, the sky, random people on the street, etc.

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October 03, 2003

Do Not Go Gently...

Just before she left, my nurse and I were discussing our opinions regarding the existence of an afterlife. I don't buy the concept at all while she was a little more willing to accept the possibility of something waiting for us once we shed this mortal coil. I'll be honest, the thought of my own death scares me. The thought that one day I simply won't be around to turn the page in a book, to answer the phone, that people will refer to me in the past tense; I find it all deeply disquieting. But that day will come and probably sooner than I'd like. Let''s not kid ourselves; I'm not bloody likely to be collecting retirement at 65. So while I'm here, I hope that others see me as a basically decent person. And I try to leave some small mark that will remain once I'm gone, even if it's just this silly blog. I think life is one big messy, badly written novel. And it gives me some pleasure to know that people will read a few of my chapters even after I'm gone.

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October 02, 2003

Notorious

Here's something I didn't know. Typing "Mark Siegel" into Google or Yahoo will bring up The 19th Floor as the top result. I discovered this after hearing from a couple people who had Googled me for background information and neither one knew about this blog until searching for my name. I find this quite amusing. And it probably means that I now have absolutely zero chance of getting another date. Ever. We all know how common Googling has become as a pre-dating safeguard. And would YOU go out with me after reading these entries? I can also forget about running for political office. If they can dig up stuff on Schwarzenegger from the '70s, imagine what an easy target I'd make. No, any opportunity for deceiving the masses is now lost forever. The I'm-just-a-sweet-and-innocent-cripple act ain't gonna cut it anymore. My cover is blown and I might as well just accept it. Maybe I can publish my book under a pseudonym. I can make up some shit about being eleven years old and an orphan who is bravely living with a terminal disease and I do all my writing from a hospital bed located in a small Iowan town. I'll call my book "Heartchants" or "Heartmurmurs" or "HeartRaps." Just as long as it has "Heart" in the title because people love that kind of stuff.

Yeah, that's the ticket...

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October 01, 2003

Reunited And It Feels So Good...Or Does It?

When I got home from work today, I found an invitation to my law school's five-year reunion. Now I'm debating whether I should go. There are some people I wouldn't mind seeing, but most of them live out of state and I doubt they'll be there. On the other hand, it might be fun to see who became corrupted by money and who still has a soul. Along with my RSVP I'm supposed to include a biography about what I've been doing since 1998. Let''s see...became subject of Minnesota Supreme Court litigation...constantly annoying neighbor...writing babbling Internet screeds...yup, that about covers it.

I've decided to take the plunge and get a digital camera or phonecam. I'm leaning towards a digital camera because I want to be able to review the pictures easily on a rear display. If anyone has suggestions about where I can find a moderately priced camera with a resolution of two megapixels, let me know.

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Plamebait

Someone needs to come up with another name for the emerging scandal surrounding the White House besides Plamegate. Why are we compelled to apply the -gate suffix to any kind of political malfeasance? Watergate is so 30 years ago but yet our metaphors are still trapped in the '70s.

And here's the President in all of his eloquent grandeur: "Leaks of classified information are bad things."

Well, yes, they are. And the sky is blue, but I knew that already too. Poor Bush. You just know that he doesn't have the kind of subtle ruthlessness necessary for deception and backstabbing. But he's surrounded himself with plenty of sharks who wouldn't hesitate to sell out their own mothers if it suited their nefarious designs.

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