August 31, 2003

Summer Daze

For a while, it seemed that Minnesota had bred an honest-to-goodness computer super criminal. Alas, it turns out that Jeffrey Parson is just another script kiddie. How disappointing. We Midwesterners just aren't very creative, I guess.

I've been on vacation all week and still have one more day because Monday is Labor Day. It's strange how the days seem to jumble together when you're not on your normal schedule. I woke up this morning not exactly sure what day it was. I remember feeling the same way a few years ago when I was unemployed for about a month. But I'm ready to get back to work and I'm also ready for autumn. I really enjoy summer, but in autumn life seems to quicken and everything just feels crisp and cool. It's like watching a film come out of slow motion and resume its regular pace.

And now I think I'll resume my game of Civ 3. I'm playing as the French and before I'm done, by God, everyone from Alaska to Azerbaijan will be eating croissants and laughing their asses off at Jerry Lewis films.

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August 30, 2003

System Down

Busy helping my sister troubleshoot her wireless laptop connection. Something funky is going on between her wireless card and my router. Ah, the joys of being an unpaid computer technician.

Someone posted a comment asking about my keyboard software. Here's the website. I've tried a few on-screen keyboards and WiViK is by far the best.

I have a friend who lives near the Adirondacks, so he should appreciate these pictures. Courtesy of MetaFilter.

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August 29, 2003

Scribe

I watched some of the VMAs last night. Yawn. If the highlight is Britney and Xtina getting kissed by Madonna, you know it was a snoozer. Pop music is long overdue for someone or something to come along and give it a hard kick in the ass. And it sure as hell ain't gonna be Justin Timberlake.

I've used this metaphor before, but corporate America is turning us all into denizens of a Kafka novel. Read this article written by a guy who bought a Dell notebook. I probably wouldn't have sent it back, but his point is a good one.

After a brief break while my brother was here, I've been trying to get back on my regular writing schedule. My comic book script is coming along well. And the book is making slow but steady progress. I really can't imagine what I would do without my HeadMaster and keyboard software. When I was in high school and college, I dictated just about everything that I needed to write down. That's fine for writing papers, but I find that dictating fiction, or even something like this blog, can be awkward. If I was forced to do my creative writing through dictation, I think I would be constantly censoring myself or watching for some kind of reaction from the person doing the transcription. This way, I can keep my insecurities just between me and all of you.

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August 28, 2003

No Vacancy

My brother left earlier today. I think he enjoyed himself. He went to the fair with me and indulged in beer, cheese curds, a deep fried candy bar, and part of my hot fudge sundae. I really do need to get my hands on a digicam so I can document these events. The Fair is about as Minnesota as you can get. And now I have a couple days of solitude before my sister moves in for a few weeks. Welcome to Mark's Boarding House. Dinner is whenever you want because my crippled ass don't cook.

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August 27, 2003

Photo Album

I had a chance to play with a digital camera yesterday, so I thought I'd share some views from the 19th Floor. This one is looking west towards downtown Minneapolis. The tall building in the center is the IDS Center and to the left is the historic Foshay Tower. When the sun sets in the evening, the play of the light off the glass and steel can be really beautiful. I'll try to get a shot of this view at dusk sometime. And here is a view looking south towards the suburbs. Not as interesting, I must admit.

And here's me. I need a haircut.

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August 26, 2003

Satan, Begone!

One disability-related story that has received some press this week is the young boy with autism who died during some kind of exorcism ceremony. It breaks my heart to imagine the pain and fear this kid must have experienced in the last moments of his life. It also boggles my mind that people living in an urban Midwest city in the 21st century still believe in things like evil spirits. Of course, the idea that people with disabilities are possessed by evil demons stretches back to medieval times. This article provides a good overview of historical attitudes towards disability. There's no doubt that general attitudes about disability have improved, but I'm troubled that these remnants of Dark Age thinking still persist. I've had my own run-ins with people who think this way and all I could do was shake my head and hope that a new Age of Enlightenment is just around the corner.

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August 25, 2003

Budweiser Sucks

So Fox dropped its lawsuit against Al Franken. How their lawyers were able to choke down their professional pride to pursue something so laughable, I'll never understand.

Taking my brother out for a beer later. Mmmm, beer.

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August 24, 2003

Safe from Harm

My brother arrived this evening and I'm looking forward to spending the next week with him. We had a good conversation and he reminded me of some things from back when we were kids that I hadn't thought about in years. Like how we used to call one of my nurses the "Polyester Princess." Don't ask.

I've been hearing a lot about the Blaster and Sobig plagues, but it hasn't affected me. Like a good boy, I try to stay on top of critical patches put out by Micro$oft and I have a firewall running at all times. My brother was checking his e-mail earlier and he was still receiving hundreds of Sobig messages from infected computers. Guess I'm just lucky.

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August 23, 2003

Sing To Me

My brother is coming for a visit tomorrow. He's 3 years younger than me and a Ph.D. candidate at Cornell, so we don't see each other very often. In fact, he's leaving soon to spend a year in Europe. When I asked him what he wanted to do, he said "Play computer games!" That kind of surprised me. We used to be gaming buddies when we were kids, but I thought he had outgrown that stuff. But I shouldn't talk. I certainly never grew out of it. Maybe I'll take him to the State Fair too. He can pig out on Pronto Pups and mini donuts. My blogging shouldn't be affected, but it might be a little lighter.

I set up my wireless network today. Every computer-related task should be this easy. Now my system won't be tied up by my sister when she stays with me in September. That girl can chat on AIM for hours and hours.

My friend Allison sent me a CD with some great music that included some Australian artists. Stuff like Christine Anu, Endorphin, and george. Awesome stuff. The US music scene is wonderful, but the good material never gets any airplay. I hope radio is more diverse Down Under.

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August 22, 2003

Annum

Football season is approaching and that can only mean one thing. Fantasy football psychos. You know the type. They start poring over fantasy magazines and websites in friggin' March. They extol, without prompting, the virtues of some unknown second-year wide receiver in Phoenix who is just itching for a breakout season. During the season, they can rattle off yards gained and touchdowns made for scores of players like some freakish human computer. I tried fantasy football a few years ago and quickly realized that I don't have the time or obsessiveness needed to be very good at it. But I do enjoy a simple football pool. Every year, I play Pigskin Pick 'Em on ESPN's website. This year, I thought it might be fun to set up a private game with some of my interested readers. You can register here and then search for a private group called The 19th Floor. The password is "blog". I promise, no trash talking or crude homophobic jokes. Won't you join me?

I realized today that I've been blogging for almost a year. I looked back at some of the early entries and winced. It took me a while to find my voice. And now that I know a few dozen people read this every day, I probably exercise a little more care and thought with my writing. But does that contradict the nature of blogging? Or should a blog be more than "Took the dog for a walk"-type fare? What is it that generates interest in a blog beyond that individual's immediate circle of friends and families? Go on, discuss!

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August 21, 2003

1L

I was just reading this advice to students who are starting their first year of law school. I wish this had been around back in 1995. When I entered law school, I thought it would just be a slightly more difficult version of college. And most of college had been extremely easy for me. I quickly discovered how wrong I was. It probably took me a whole year to learn how to think and study like a law student should. But that first year also served as a much-needed kick in the ass for me. I needed to realize that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was and that there were lots of people smarter than me. That first year was also my first year away from home, so I attribute some of my poor performance to general "Doing Whatever the Fuck I Want" Syndrome.

The Web can still weird me out sometimes. If you go here and scroll down, you'll see that I'm someone else's footnote (except he spells my first name with the oh-so-European C). It's an article I wrote in law school and you can probably still find it on Lexis-Nexis. I must admit that it's one of the better things I've ever written.

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August 20, 2003

Travel Agent

I only have a few minutes, so here's something to expand your horizons.

And one of my UK readers pointed me to this photoblog by an American living in Japan.

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August 19, 2003

Collaborator

I'm discovering that scripting a comic is much different than writing standard prose. It's almost like writing two simultaneous narratives. One part is the visual: the scene, the angle, the descriptions of people and places. The other part is the actual dialog, which has to be kept tight so it won't clutter up the pages. It can take twice the amount of time to spit out a script for one comic book page as opposed to a page of straight prose. But I'm having a good time with it.

By the way, any artistic types interested in collaborating on a strip for Her? Susannah keyed me into the opportunity and I think it could be fun.

I've been jonesing for a gaming fix. Maybe I should pick up the Warcraft 3 expansion. Or I could just re-install Civ 3.

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August 18, 2003

Yo Ho Ho

It's downright tropical here in Minnesota. I had to leave my air-conditioned office for a meeting and I instantly wilted. The temperature must be hovering around 100. No aerobics for me today.

That's a joke, in case you're wondering.

Saw Pirates of the Caribbean over the weekend, which was the last summer film I had any interest in. Johnny Depp is a trip. He owns the film completely. Worth checking out if you like your movies with a dash of camp.

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August 17, 2003

Hotspot

My sister is moving in at the end of the month and staying for a few weeks before she can move in to her apartment. She just got a new notebook PC, so I think I'm gonna set up a wireless network in my condo. I've been looking at this router, mostly because it looks cool. if you have other suggestions, let me know. I wish my condo association would set up a hotspot on the deck. But then again, my headset doesn't have a battery pack, so that might not work for me.

For some reason, the Sunday papers are focusing on porn today. There's this in the NYT and this in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (which quotes my friend Susannah). Must have something to do with the steamy August weather. I guess I'm just not sure how this is exactly news. The mainstreaming of porn culture, if not porn itself, has been going on for the last 5-8 years. It's like all those recent articles about how comics are suddenly okay for adults to read. How long does a trend have to be a trend for the mainstream press to catch on?

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August 16, 2003

Pillow Talk

Let's talk about sex. There, I knew that would get your attention. I've touched on other aspects of the disability experience in this blog, but I've found that sex is the one issue where people have a great deal of curiosity but little willingness to ask. So turn away if this topic makes you uncomfortable.

Sex plays out differently for everyone and it's no different for those of us with disabilities. My own sexual awakening came rather late. Throughout my teens and most of my twenties, I was uncertain as to whether anyone would want to have sex with me. After all, having a nurse around 24-7 makes cultivating a relationship a challenging proposition. For many years, the idea of getting laid seemed about as likely as me leaping out of my chair and taking up rock-climbing. I even considered paying someone for the experience, but that idea just never felt right. I'm not opposed to prostitution per se. I think a sex industry has a valid place in modern life. But in my own case, I felt a little too vulnerable to be intimate with a stranger.

Anyway, and much to my surprise, I did get into a relationship last year. I discovered that, for me, sex is entirely within my personal realm of possibility. My particular disability doesn't affect--ahem--functioning, so it was just a matter of finding what works and what doesn't. For the most part, I think my girlfriend at the time was quite satisfied with my abilities. Unfortunately, the relationship ended after a few months. Whether I'll ever find another partner, who knows? I like to think that my thirties will be a little more exciting than my twenties. But most people still tend to associate disability with asexuality or complete sexual innocence. The common perception is that we're too sick or too incapacitated to enjoy sex. Of course, reality is something else. Some of the most sexually voracious people I know are people with disabilities. Many friends of mine married and have children. I think the whole chemistry of attraction--what draws one human being to another--is remarkably mysterious and unpredictable.

There really isn't one way to describe Sex & The Disability Experience. There's my story and then there are millions of others. The mechanics, the who does what to whom and how, is only a small part of the whole picture. So don't expect me to start posting pictures or diagrams. But I will say this: there are certain myths about guys of Jewish heritage that aren't exactly myths.

Trust me.

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August 15, 2003

Power=Life

More staffing problems this weekend. This is my last full week with my nursing agency and I'm anxious to get things up and running. At least I'll have a better idea of what's going on with the schedule. Anyone want to come to Minneapolis tomorrow and hang out with me for a few hours?

It's been oppressively hot and humid the last couple days here. But at least we have power. Since my ventilator runs on battery for only 12 hours or so, I'd be quite screwed in a blackout. If anyone has stories about how people with disabilities were affected by the Great Northeastern Blackout of 2003, send them to me.

Blech. Need to get away from the computer...

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August 14, 2003

Lights Out

Napster is coming back. I remember a friend telling me about Napster back in '99 and shrugging my shoulders. I was poor and still using dial-up and I didn't get the appeal of waiting 20 minutes for a song to download. But then I got my clerking job and could suddenly afford broadband. I checked out Napster again and it was like trying crack for the first time. I was soon gleefully downloading songs I remembered from my youth; stuff like Cyndi Lauper and Wang Chung. And Duran Duran. Lots of Duran Duran.

I hope all my East Coast readers are safe and sound. It sounds like most people are behaving rather well; no 1970's New York Style Blackout Looting and Rampaging. And trust the mobloggers to be all over this. I just wish mainstream media could be this spontaneous and unobtrusive.

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August 13, 2003

Ouch

I managed to wrench my foot quite nicely yesterday. I was sitting at my desk at work with my leg crossed when I decided I needed to go talk to someone. Instead of backing me up, my nurse drove me into the desk and my foot got caught between the desk and a table, twisting at an interesting angle. Ouch, said I. Except it came out sounding like:

fuckfuckowbackmeupbackmeupfuckfuckow

It still twinges a little, but Coach says I can still play on game day.

One of my other nurses is considering the purchase of both a TiVo and notebook computer. I don't think she would be getting either if not for my evil geek influence. I can think of two or three nurses who eventually bought computers after working with me for an extended period. It's interesting to notice the subtle influence we have on each other's lives. One nurse taught me everything I know about beer and Terry Gilliam films.

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August 12, 2003

Out of All Them Bright Stars

Reading this article reminds me that I need to get out of the city sometime soon to do some stargazing. My parents have a summer home in Door County and my brother and I enjoyed some spectacular views of the Perseid showers. I have some vacation coming up at the end of the month, so maybe that will be a good time to go for a drive and find an open field somewhere.

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August 11, 2003

Slacking

I just got back from two hours of walking around downtown and soliciting silent auction donations from local businesses. I'm on the Board of Directors of a small arts organization and our fundraiser is next month. It went well and I got about 5 or 6 donations. But between yesterday and today, I haven't gotten much writing done. Since I started writing regularly, I try to do a page a day. I got a little done today, but tomorrow I need to get back on task.

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August 10, 2003

Post-Party Crash

Man, I'm fried. The party went off better than I thought. I think I had about ten people show up, including a couple friends from law school who I hadn't seen in forever. I meant to take pictures, but I got distracted and it just didn't happen. Maybe I could have been more spontaneous if I had a digicam. Oh well, something to work on for the Second Annual Thirtieth Birthday Party. And next year, I'm expecting all of you to come.

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August 09, 2003

Oxford Bound

From The Guardian: Disabled Hero Wins Oxford Place. Hero being the name of the young woman, not a term of condescension, thankfully. It's good to see that Oxford is willing to admit students with even the most severe disabilities. I sometimes wonder how my own life would have been different if I had come of age in the 50s or 60s instead of the end of the twentieth century. Decidedly less pleasant, I think. Even today, students with disabilities who are accepted into some of the finest institutions of higher education still have great difficulty finding employment after graduation.

I think everything is ready for my party. Food: check. Beer: check. Film for suddenly antiquated 35mm camera: check. Decent weather: hopeful.

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August 08, 2003

Alumni

I need to catch up on my e-mail. Allison and Amy, you're on my list. And a big shout-out to my friend Anna, who is apparently wasting her time reading this drivel of mine. Anna, Amy and I are proud graduates of St. Norbert College. Located on the shores of the beautiful Fox River, SNC is a fine liberal arts college with a not-so-liberal student population. That fact always seemed a little curious to me. When I got to the U of Minnesota, I remember experiencing a little culture shock because everyone was so much more...like me. Not to say that there weren't any liberals at SNC, but I think we were a little outnumbered. Another funny fact: when I graduated from SNC in 1995, maybe one or two buildings were equipped with automatic doors. For the entire four years I was there, I relied on my fellow students to help me in and out of most of the buildings. When I came back to visit a couple years later, accessibility had dramatically improved around the entire campus. Better late than never, I guess.

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August 07, 2003

Talking Head

The other day I had to buy a new headset for my cordless phone and it got me thinking. I have one headset to emulate the mouse on my computer. Another headset to give verbal commands. Yet another for the phone. Most of my interaction with the world around me occurs via my head. You could probably cut it off and put it in a jar a la Futurama and I could still have a fairly productive life. But I think I'd miss my body and all of the sensations associated with it. People often wrongly assume that I have no capacity for sensation, like someone with a spinal cord injury. In truth, I can't imagine what that must be like. Sitting here, I can feel the smooth varnished wood of my desk under my left hand. In my right hand, I can feel the rough textured surface of my thumb switch. I do live in my head quite a bit, but I'm grateful that I have a body that can experience all the pleasures, both crude and sublime, that this world has to offer.

Looks like I'll be going to a Monday night Packers game in November. W00t!

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August 06, 2003

Will He Grant Civil Rights to Cyborgs?

As someone from a state that just emerged from four years of a very bizarre governorship by a former pro wrestler, I can only shake my head at Schwarzenegger's announcement that he's running for governor in California. Look, the Terminator movies were fun, but all of his other movies pretty much sucked. Remember Eraser? Neither do I. With that kind of track record, what makes him think he can do any better as governor? Does he plan to solve the deficit by turning Sacramento into one big T3 theme ride? Will Stallone be Lieutenant Governor? Will he open a really tacky chain restaurant in the governor's mansion? People of California, don't buy the hype! It may seem like good clean fun Election Day, but you'll just wake up with a nasty hangover the day after. And the jokes about your governor from friends and family in other states will not stop. Ever. Trust me.

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August 05, 2003

Can't We All Just Get Along?

I've never been a huge fan of Joe Lieberman. He is always so eager to seem like Bush's slightly more liberal Jewish uncle. After reading his statements in this NYT article, I like him even less. I've decided to firmly back Dean. If he wasn't in the race, the Democrats would be a nonstory. Dean is no radical liberal, but he's the only candidate that seems to have a clue about grassroots organizing, which is what Democrats will need to do to have any chance of winning in 2004.

I started writing the background and character sketches for my comic. I haven't had this much fun writing in a couple months and I'm looking forward to the actual scripting. Even if it never sees the light of day, it will be interesting to try writing for a different medium.

I wonder if I can copy this guy's idea to get a date with Garbage lead singer Shirley Mansun.

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August 04, 2003

Jet Set

Another blog by a fellow SMA Revolutionary in the UK. One step closer to world domination.

I'm hoping to get a chance to visit with my brother in the next couple weeks. He is a Ph.D. candidate at Cornell. Yes, all three of us Siegel kids are overeducated brats. With a Jewish father and a professor mother, it was unavoidable, I'm afraid. My brother is leaving soon to study abroad in Europe for a year, so this may be my last chance to see him for a while. My sister will be studying at the Sorbonne in the spring. Je suis tres jaloux.

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August 03, 2003

Second Job

I spent some time browsing through the Dictionary of Cultural Literacy earlier today. It makes for interesting reading, even if it is a little heavy on the Dead White Males, especially in the Literature section. Cultural literacy is a bit difficult to define, I think. Couldn't it include things like baseball, The Simpsons, The Godfather, etc.? Or is pop culture literacy something different from serious, academic Cultural Literacy? Discuss amongst yourselves.

I belong to a labor union and right now we're in the middle of contract negotiations with the state. It's not looking good. Minnesota has a big budget deficit and the state is proposing cutting our wages and jacking up health insurance premiums. The last state worker strike was just two years ago and I don't think it will come to that this time, but you never know. If we do go on strike, I'll have to start thinking of other ways to keep the money coming in. Blogging is fine and dandy, but it won't pay the bills. Maybe now's the time to launch my career in the adult film industry. I know I can write at least as well as some of the writers currently in the business. I'll talk to Susannah and see if she can introduce me to some people.

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August 02, 2003

Static

Not much to write about today. Trying to flesh out my idea for a comic. In the meantime, this series of pictures is worth checking out...

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August 01, 2003

Look Homeward, Angel

I moved to Minneapolis 8 years ago from...wait for it...Green Bay, Wisconsin. I grew up in Green Bay and it's a town that will always hold a special place in my heart. It's a place where the mullet is still acceptable fashion and Color Me Badd is still played in the clubs. Of course, it's also the home of the legendary Green Bay Packers. In Green Bay, football (the American kind) becomes the official religion of the town for four months of the year. On autumn Sundays, church attendance dramatically declines and the shopping malls are practically empty. The fire hydrants are painted green and gold, the official team colors. No, I'm not kidding. I can't think of any other place in the United States that has its identity so intertwined with a sports team. It can be a bit much, to be honest. But I am a Packers fan and always will be. So on a whim, I called the Packers ticket office today and discovered that disability tickets are still available for several games. A road trip may be in my future.

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